Cheers Darlin'
by AlexandraBurniese
Summary: Edward fell in love with Bella in 11th grade Biology, and 11 years later, he's a successful doctor but is all alone, wondering whatever happened to Bella. One night he sees her in a restaurant and can't believe he's found her again.
1. Chapter 1

The following was inspired by the Damien Rice song, Cheers Darlin'. If you haven't heard it, along with all of Damien Rice's songs, you are severely missing out. So check out the song and read/review my story. I have lots of ideas for things to tie into this, so if this story ends up being popular, then the chapter count will just keep going up. If it's not, then I'll cut it short, as I have more writing ideas and other stories to finish. This entire story is from Edward's POV. All human, usual pairings. Usual disclaimer: I do not own these characters, just playing with them for a bit.  Enjoy.

**Cheers darlin'  
Here's to you and your lover boy  
Cheers darlin'  
I got years to wait around for you  
Cheers darlin'  
I've got your wedding bells in my ear  
Cheers darlin'  
You give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away**

**And I die when you mention his name  
And I lied, I should have kissed you  
When we were running in the rain**

**What am I darlin'?  
A whisper in your ear?  
A piece of your cake?  
What am I, darlin?  
The boy you can fear?  
Or your biggest mistake?**

**Cheers darlin'  
Here's to you and your lover man  
Cheers darlin'  
I just hang around and eat from a can  
Cheers darlin'  
I got a ribbon of green on my guitar  
Cheers darlin'  
I got a beauty queen  
To sit not very far from me**

**I die when he comes around  
To take you home  
I'm too shy  
I should have kissed you when we were alone**

**What am I darlin'?  
A whisper in your ear?  
A piece of your cake?  
What am I, darlin?  
The boy you can fear?  
Or your biggest mistake?**

**Oh what am I? What am I darlin'?  
I got years to wait...**

I sat at the bar, another Friday night, just me and myself, alone.

I signaled the bartender for another beer, my fourth, if I wasn't mistaken. Usually, I'm not a big drinker. But tonight, I just wanted to drown out my loneliness.

I have great friends and a good family. But at night, I went home alone to my cozy house, that I had no one to share with. Sometimes I'd research more medical breakthroughs, sometimes I'd play on the internet, or catch some TV. Most nights I'd try and convince my friends Jasper and Emmett to come out with me for a bite to eat or a drink, or whatever. Whatever to avoid being alone with my thoughts, my can of Spaghetti-O's, and my goldfish, Jinx.

At 29, you'd think I'd have found a somewhat decent girl by now to fall in love with. But I hadn't even come close, not in years, about 11 to be exact. My first and only love didn't even know I existed as I adored her from afar, too shy to talk to her much, although we were lab partners in junior Biology. She was the most exquisite creature I had ever laid eyes on. Even her name meant beautiful. _Bella_. Just thinking her name riled me up, set my heart beating faster, made my palms a bit sweaty. God, thinking about her now made me feel seventeen again. I wonder what that beautiful girl – no, _woman_ – is up to now.

Last I'd read, from our 10 year reunion newsletter, she had gone to Seattle State and gotten her masters in English Literature – skated all through school on academic scholarships. I had tried to make it home for the reunion in the hopes of seeing her, but hadn't been able to get home from Africa at the time, where I was working with Doctors Without Borders. Apparently, now she was working on writing her first novel and already had a publishing contract set up. She was always one of the smartest kids in our class, her success didn't surprise me. She had been a good student, loved to read, and was always deep in thought. She didn't have many close friends from what I could tell, though she was generally friendly with everyone. Never had a steady boyfriend, but went on several dates with some of the popular boys at our school. I had had plenty of opportunities to ask her out, or even just express the interest to study with her. But I never acted on my feelings, and have regretted it every day since. As I fell in love with her as we shared microscopes and dissected kitten carcasses, I asked as many questions of her as I dared and filed each answer into my memory. She was perfect, and each thing I learned about her made me fall harder. Unfortunately, my self confidence went down as well, and it didn't take me long to convince myself that I could never be good enough for that wonderful and beautiful girl. Not that the guys at our school were much better, the self-absorbed Mike Newton or jock-jerk Tyler Crowley weren't people I could see someone as magnificent as my Bella falling for.

_My_ Bella? What the hell was I thinking? I'm sure she was probably happily married with a couple of kids right now.

At that moment, I could picture Bella, glowing with happiness, being caressed by a loving husband and surrounded by two small children. She was the loving and caring type to create a happy family.

I let out a big sigh. Maybe the right girl would come along for me someday. I was tired of my life being surrounded by so many perfectly matched and blissfully happy couples as I tried to pretend I was okay constantly being the third or fifth or seventh wheel.

I took another swig of my Sam Adams and glanced around the restaurant. It was a nice place for Forks, they served decent steaks, and since it was a Friday night the place was pretty crowded. I looked around at all the couples by themselves, speaking intently, leaning towards each other in the dimly lit dining area. So many people had found their true match, why couldn't I? I sighed again. My day would come. I had to believe that. It was one of the only things that kept me going.

Just as I was completing my sweep of the restaurant, my eyes locked on a woman sitting at a small table in the corner, and my breath stopped. Her long, flowing brown hair was covering her face for the most part, but I could see her creamy skin peeking out from it, and my eyes followed it down her neck to the top of the midnight blue silk blouse she wore. Under the table, I could see a dark colored pencil skirt grace her thighs before her smooth, shapely legs peeked out below, trailing their way down to her small feet fitted with black shiny heels.

She reminded me so much of Bella, of what I imagined Bella to look like as she matured into a woman. At seventeen, Bella had been petite, but voluptuous, her legs long and well-formed, her hips curving gracefully to her small waist, her breasts round and firm. I knew that as she would grow into her body that she would only become curvier, well defined, the epitome of feminine. Never in these past years had I seen a woman such as this that reminded me so much of Bella.

My eyes snapped back up to her face, and I resumed breathing at that moment, sucking in a deep, ragged breath, feeling as if I could really breathe for the first time in 11 years. Her hair had shaken out behind her shoulders as she lifted her head up to look at her date, and I could clearly see her face now, even in the dimly lit room. It was _her_. Bella. Oh, my god.

She was exquisite. The very woman that I'd known in Biology was grown up and as beautiful as ever. My heart was pounding in my chest, saliva pooling in my mouth, and it hung open slightly as I openly stared at her. I couldn't believe it. After all this time, she'd come home. And as luck would have it, I'd chosen this night to come here.

I pulled myself together. What was I thinking? She was with a date, for Christ's sake. Obviously, she wasn't single. This could even be her husband, or fiancé, for all I knew. It's not like I could just muster up the past years of regret, turn it into an ounce of confidence, and stroll up to her table and beg her to spend forever with me. Man, I must have really lost it if I was even thinking along those lines.

I decided to observe, as objectively and silently as possible, and catch her on the way out to say a quick hello. That meant I would have to quit staring. Not an easy thing to do.

I tried to make my observations very nonchalant. I watched for body language between her and her sandy-haired date and tried to pick up on pieces of their conversation. I silently thanked my lucky stars that I'd been blessed with excellent hearing. Unfortunately, there was not a lot of talking going on.

My breath stopped once more as she lifted her left hand to her hair and gently brushed it behind her shoulder. Mmm, what it would be like to run my hands through her thick, silky mahogany locks… heaven, that's what. Touching her in any way would be heaven.

I broke myself out of my daydream to concentrate on her left hand as she raised it. I nearly jumped for joy as I realized that she wore no ring on her third finger.

But, that didn't mean anything yet, not really. The humans of the male species were not as traditional these days as they once were. Just because she didn't wear a ring didn't mean she wasn't otherwise involved with this man who sat not two feet away from her at the small corner table.

_Of course she was involved_, I thought to myself. Bella is a smart, beautiful, successful woman. She probably has a line around her corner of men waiting to suit her. It'd be a very long line, if I chose to stand in it.

I shook my head quickly. All of this plotting was going to make me feel sorrier later when nothing blossomed between us. _Snap out it, Edward_.

A waiter appeared at their table and with a few words dropped a small leather folder on their table. The man reached for it and studied the slip of paper inside, a little too intently, I thought. Why balk about the price when you get the opportunity to escort someone as great as Bella to dinner.

He looked up at her then and spoke a few words, too low for me to hear. She sighed, smiled a small smile as her eyebrows shot up slightly, and then nodded as she reached for her purse. I stared in disbelief as she pulled out her wallet and a few bills, and slipped them across the table to him. Why was he making her pay for part of the meal? Didn't anyone know or care about being a gentleman anymore?

I started to get upset over this. Bella deserved better.

As the man gathered her money and his own and slipped it all into the folder, they both began to stand. Bella slipped on a camel-colored trench coat and reached around her neck to pull her hair out and shake it around her shoulders. The man waited patiently for this, watching her, then spoke a few more low words to her. I watched as she smiled, and held out her hand to him, as if to give a handshake.

A handshake? Surely if they were lovers they wouldn't end their evening with a handshake.

He took her hand and shook it, and then turned to head towards the door. She followed a few paces behind, which also brought them closer to the bar, and I hoped I could hear more of their conversation.

"Well, I had a nice time tonight. It was nice to meet you, Bella," he said quietly to her as he walked.

She stopped suddenly, even closer to the bar now than before, and he turned to see what kept her.

"I think I'm going to hang out here for awhile. The night is still young. Do you mind?" She asked him. Hearing her voice clearly for the first time tonight, melted my heart. Her voice was slightly deeper than most women's, a little husky instead of high-pitched. It was the simple, most sensual sound I had ever heard. (**A/N: I've always pictured Bella's voice to be like Scarlet Johansen's, so go with me here**).

"How will you get home?" He asked.

"I'll catch a cab," she replied. This guy must not be from around here, or he's just too anxious to get out of here, to know or care that there are no cabs in Forks. But Bella knew that also, so she must want to be rid of him as well if she'd chosen to bust out that lie.

With that, he took her hand and kissed it, quickly, as if he was rushing somewhere and couldn't be bothered with a more elaborate goodbye. He didn't linger a moment longer than necessary. With that he whirled around and was out the door.

Bella stood there for a moment, watching after him, then closed her eyes and signed a little. After a few seconds she opened her eyes and turned towards the bar, picking a seat at the opposite end from me.

The bartender approached her then and I heard her softly ask for another glass of the Hannah Nicole Vineyard's Meritage Red.

This was my chance. I could get up right now and approach Bella, acting as if it I'd just noticed her and then we could exchange hellos. I could ask to join her and we could catch up as old friends would do. I could revise my plans as I saw how things were progressing. I would have to remain cautious and careful of everything I said or did. The last thing I wanted was her running screaming from the restaurant as I professed my undying love for her.

But at that moment, it felt as if ice water was seeping through my veins. My mind knew that it was the fear talking, the surprise of seeing Bella again, the possibility of rejection and all of my insecurities rising to the surface and catching in my throat. But I'd lived through too much regret already to sit around like an idiot as she sat not twelve feet from me, and not act on this pure chance of fate. So I took a few deep breaths, slid down off of the stool, and made my way to stand behind Bella's right shoulder.

My body tingled and surged at being so close to her again, and I knew tears were welling in my eyes as I took in the sight of her. I closed my eyes and took a silent but deep breath, and I could smell her. The scent I'd fallen in love with all those years ago, her strange mixture of freesia, clean skin, and shampoo. The only scent I'd ever wanted to smell in my life. How is it possible she could smell the same after all of this time? Her hair was longer than it was in high school, and it shone vibrantly as it cascaded down her back, slightly wavy all the way down but then twisting into curls at the ends. I could imagine running my hands across her face, sweeping her hair back from her deep brown eyes so that I could look into them, and then fisting my hands in her hair as I pulled in her into me for a deep, passionate kiss, then making love to her all night.

But for that moment, I just let my love for her seep into every fiber of my being, settling into who I am and have always been. And then I worked up the courage to call her name.

"Bella?" I said softly.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Bella?" I said softly._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I felt an almost physical release at being able to speak her name out loud. It truly had been so long since I'd even uttered it. But I also was glued to her, for her reaction was something I wanted to monitor closely.

As I called her name, her shoulders, which had been slumped slightly, instantly squared and straightened. I heard the faint sound of her inhaling a gasp, and she seemed to freeze in place after that. I began counting. I reached 28 before I saw her head begin to turn over her right shoulder to look at me.

It seemed to take a long time for her to turn and look into my eyes, and when she did, she gasped again, as if she couldn't believe I was standing next to her. Her eyes widened, and for a moment, it looked as if she'd seen a ghost. I simply allowed myself to drown into the deep liquid brown pools of her eyes. It had been so long since she had stared into my eyes, and allowing myself to stare back at her with no inhibitions was exhilarating. I never wanted to break away from her gaze again.

Unfortunately, she broke the moment first, and her face broke out into a display of surprise and glee.

"Edward!" she exclaimed. "It's been so long!" she cried as she jumped up and threw her arms around me.

If I was caught off guard at seeing her in this restaurant, that was nothing compared to my surprise when she hugged me enthusiastically. It took me a moment to curl my arms around her back and hug her closely. _I'm such an idiot, _I thought. She probably didn't think I was as happy to see her based on my delayed reaction.

She pulled back suddenly and moved her hands to grasp my shoulders and look me in the eye.

"Edward, how are you? I can't believe you're really here!" Bella cried.

"Hello, Bella," I managed, her name sounding like a prayer on my lips. "It's great to see you, too. How have you been?"

"Oh, please join me for a drink. Let's catch up!" she said as she practically pulled me onto a stool next to her. I needed no convincing.

"Can I get you another drink? What are you having?" I asked politely, although I knew perfectly well what wine she sipped.

"Oh, it's this great red I found at a tasting a few months back. I was surprised to find it on their wine list here. Do you drink wine?" she implored.

"Definitely," I said as I signaled the bartender for two more glasses. This was really happening. Here, I could catch up with her like I'd always envisioned doing, find out about her life, get her phone number, address, ask her for a date, ask her to marry me… _stop it, stop it, stop it! _I yelled to myself. _Do NOT get your hopes up. It will hurt less later…_

"Oh my goodness Edward, I can't believe you're actually here, that I'm sitting on a barstool next to you. I feel like I should pinch myself. So tell me everything, what have you been up to?" Bella rushed, as the bartender set our glasses down in front of us.

She seemed genuinely happy to see me. Amazing. For how shy I had been with her in school, I was surprised she would even remember my name after all these years.

"Nuh-uh, you first Bella. And, it's wonderful to see you, too. What a coincidence, running into you!" I feigned innocence. It was innocent enough that she and I had chosen to dine in the same place on the same night, but I felt a tad guilty for eavesdropping on her earlier. "What are you doing in Forks? I'd heard you moved to Seattle."

Her eyes dropped from mine, staring at her hands that were clenched to the bar table. A small pucker produced between her eyebrows, and a few faint creases appeared on her forehead. I wanted to smooth them away and have them never return. I never wanted to see this pained look on her face again.

"Charlie… my dad… he's been sick…" she trailed off, snapping her head up and looking out into the distance of the restaurant. "Leukemia. He was diagnosed last year…" she dropped her hands into her lap and then looked down at them.

I reached my fingers under her chin, hesitantly, trying not to worry myself out the action by focusing too much on actually being able to touch her. My pulse quickened when my skin reached hers. Her skin was soft, warm. I couldn't concentrate on that now. She was in pain. I gently lifted her face up and her eyes focused on mine.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I can't imagine what it's been like," I said softly.

She smiled timidly, nodding a little.

"Thank you. He's doing okay with his treatments. Although he won't admit it, I'm sure he's in pain most of the time. The doctors are hopeful. Anyway, I try to get up here and spend as much time with him as possible. I work for myself so I just bring my stuff with me and sleep in my old bedroom here."

I lowered my hand from under her face, wishing I could keep it there, knowing I could not. This was not a time for me to think of all the things I wish I could do to her. I wanted to stay sharp and focused to hear about her life. I wanted to learn every single thing that made her who she is today.

"Are you confident in his treatments? I could take a look at his medical records if you'd like, make some calls when I get home. My specialty is pediatrics, but still…"

"I had heard you'd become a doctor, Edward. That's wonderful! Congratulations! I always knew you would do great things with your life," she said warmly.

I had to remind myself to breathe as she spoke her words. Her sincerity seeped through each syllable and her compliment blew me away.

"Um, thank you," I stammered. "I do enjoy my work. And I meant what I said; I'd be more than happy to help in any way with your father." _Turn the conversation back to her, Edward. That's it._

"Thank you; I appreciate that, so much. I might take you up on that. I just want to make sure he's getting the proper treatments, being prescribed the right medications… if there's another course of action, or something better out there, I want to know about it. And, let's face it; between you and me, you're definitely the smarter of us two when it comes to the sciences. I swear, Edward, if you hadn't been my lab partner in Biology, I probably would have flunked it! Science was certainly not my strong point!" she laughed.

I laughed with her, easily. It felt good. I hadn't felt this carefree in years.

"Oh Bella, I highly doubt that. You always got great grades! And so I hear you're a writer now. Tell me about that," I asked her, intently. I was focusing hard on trying to appear relaxed, calm. In all honesty, I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. I think I was the one that needed the pinch to make me realize this was not a dream.

She took a deep breath and began telling me of how she "accidently" started writing a story her freshman year at Seattle State. She ended up loving it – not just the story and the way it progressed, but the _act_ of writing as well. She found she thoroughly cherished how her mind was able to slip away into another world when she wrote, and so she embraced it, and kept writing.

"It was a little embarrassing, as well," she admitted sheepishly. "I turned down party invites, nights out with friends, dates… because the release I found from writing was just so wonderful. I became almost obsessed with it. I couldn't think of anything else when I was on a roll. Unfortunately, my grades started to suffer as well, and I didn't want to lose my scholarships. So, I made a bargain with myself. I told myself that if I wanted to take this all the way – make a living out of writing – than I would need to focus on getting a good education first. So I switched my major and decided to go for the Master's. I've written a few novels so far, but only one has been picked up for a publishing deal. I'm in the editing stages of it now, it's due out in March…" she finished her story, trailing off, seeming almost bored with telling it. Then she turned back to me.

"But enough about me! I hate talking about myself. Tell me about you! I want to hear everything I've missed in the past, oh – eleven years!" she exclaimed.

I hadn't heard nearly enough about her, but I figured I'd appease her before deftly trying to find out the status of her love life. So, I regaled her with a simplified version of how I was all set on cardiology, but then was accidently scheduled for the wrong internship slot my third year, and found myself working in the Pediatric wing of a hospital for three months. I fell in love with it immediately, then quickly changed my specialty, and haven't regretted it once. My patients were great, and seeing them grow up over time was rewarding. I'd always liked kids, though I'd never been around many before going to that internship. My job gave me practice for interacting with them, so that I'd hopefully be a good dad someday… _Bella and I would make great parents, _I thought. _No, no, no! Snap out of it!_

She listened attentively, an unreadable expression on her face for awhile, and then another emotion cracked the surface. It almost looked like… awe.

When I was finished, she shook her head slightly and then cleared her throat.

"Edward, you just seem so compassionate about your job. It's great! You obviously care so much for your patients. What a rewarding career."

"It is. And thank you, I do care for the patients. They are what keep me going," I told her truthfully.

"So… you haven't told me the most important details of your life…" she seemed to be hinting at something, though I couldn't figure out what.

"What's that?" I asked her, confused.

"Um, your personal life?" She said it asking like a question. "Are you married, engaged, have kids…?"

I just looked at her for a moment. She thought I was married, or otherwise involved with someone? How far off the mark she was. I was surprised, but glad, that she had steered the conversation in this direction. Made it easier for me to ask the same questions of her.

"Um, no. Uhh… none of the above," I answered her, all the while staring deeply into her eyes.

Her breath seemed to hitch a little, then her expression seemed confused. I could nearly see the question mark forming on her face.

"You're not married, Edward?" she asked gently. Okay, where was this going? Hadn't I just clearly answered that question? I became uneasy.

"No, I'm not. Why does that seem hard to believe?" I asked, chuckling for good measure, but growing more uncomfortable by the second.

She broke our gaze then, shaking her head a little once more. She seemed… surprised. Then, a small smile graced her lips.

What did that _mean_?

"I'm just… surprised is all. I thought you'd be married and have a few kids by now…"

I nearly spit a mouthful of red wine out at her as a choke formed in my throat. Was she some sort of mind reader? Weren't those the exact words I had thought not an hour before about _her_?

She sensed my discomfort and became panicky as I coughed, though thankfully no wine escaped my mouth.

"Edward, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to pry, or offend you, or anything. That's not what I meant!"

Once I had calmed down, I looked back at her.

"Okay, what did you mean?"

She bit her bottom lip, seeming to look for the right words. As she bit her lip, other feelings grew within me, mainly a desire to feel that lip beneath my own, to bite on it myself….

I forced my eyes back up to hers as she began to speak.

"You always seemed to have everything going for you, Edward. Nice friends, a great family... you were smart as hell and you seemed… driven, I think, is the right word. I always knew you would grow up and do something great with your life. And I knew you'd have no trouble at all finding a great woman to settle down with. I know not _everyone_ is interested in settling down in their twenties, and I'm sure you've had a very busy decade, what with becoming a doctor and all…" she smirked. "I guess, it just surprises me you're single. Not that there's anything wrong with that!" she stammered once more. "Please don't take offense. I'm just… surprised. That you haven't found a worthy girl yet," she concluded her speech, looking at me apologetically. I'm sure she'd thought she'd offended me.

_I had found her, once before_, I thought. _It's you. _

No.

I smiled a small smile at her, to let her know all was forgiven. I didn't feel like explaining that I truly hadn't been offended, that I had more or less been surprised that she thought I'd had found someone to marry.

She asked me, timidly, if I had dated much over the years, and I answered honestly, without giving too many details. I hoped to put her back at ease by answering her.

"I've had several relationships, but none that grew serious. I refused to settle for what I thought might have been love, when I wasn't sure. I've always been convinced that I would never have a doubt when I felt love." Just like I knew I had always loved her, and every woman I had dated never measured up.

"So, you never met anyone that you wanted?" she asked.

I kicked around a few possible responses to that, before finally saying: "Well, sure I have! Hasn't everyone?!" I wanted to play this off coolly, not in a way that would depress me and her both.

She smirked again. That look made me feel like she saw right through my pretenses.

Ahh, but I wasn't going to care about that right now. Time to turn the questioning to her.

"So, Bella, how about you? Are you married, engaged, kids…?" I asked in the same style that she had.

"Well, Edward, none of the above," she answered just as coolly. I felt a tingle go up my spine, whether it was at the way she said my name, or the fact that she was as unattached as I was, I wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. I would make a move this time. I would not live through more years of regret without finding out if this woman could become _mine_.

"Have you not dated many people?" I asked, without thinking. I cringed. Too late. The words were out of my mouth. But I had to know.

She seemed amused by my question, then a look of resolve flashed over her face before she answered.

"I haven't dated much. Just never found what I was looking for. It's been awhile since I've even dated anyone I've considered _liking_, how's that?" she asked, rhetorically, shaking her head with a look of disgust on her face. "I was even on a blind date tonight, if you could believe it. My dad actually set it up for me, can you imagine? It's a new cop on at the department. And this guy was nice and all, but I'll tell you, zero sparks. None. Call me a romantic, but I think when you first meet someone, you can feel a connection instantly, if there is one. This guy was as generic as they come. No originality. I didn't even get his number, I knew I'd never call him…" she trailed off again, looking at me with those eyes of hers, seeming to communicate something silently. A blind date, that's what the guy had been? Oh wonderful, this just gets better. She really and truly is unattached. _Now!_ my head screamed.

"Bella, I have something to tell you," I blurted out without thinking. WHAT? What the hell was I doing?

_Think quickly, Cullen,_ I told myself. Professions of love are not what we want for the first date. Date? This was hardly a date. _No, it was an act of God_. _I was meant to find her here, _a voice inside my head said.

"Yes?" She looked genuinely curious, with the cutest expression on her face.

I decided in that moment, looking at her, to drop my wall. To be honest and open and sincere. If I didn't try, _really_ try at this, I would hate myself for the rest of my life. While Bella didn't need to know every single detail of my affections, I could let her know I had feelings for her and that I wanted to see her again.

"Bella, I… I really cared for you in high school. I've had a great time seeing you tonight. I'd love to see you again, if that's alright with you." There. I said it. Simple, to the point. She knew where I stood, without me scaring her away. I braced myself for the rejection that I feared would follow. I had to try though. I wasn't going to lose her again. Not without trying.

I concentrated on my breathing while waiting for her response. In, out. In, out.

Bella looked at me as if I had three eyeballs. She stared at me so intently for a moment that I had to call her name quietly to see if she was paying attention. Maybe she hadn't heard me. I had spoken the words out loud, hadn't I?

"Bella?"

Her eyes flashed then, and she looked down to her hands in her lap.

"Edward, would you excuse me for a moment?" she asked, as she stood from her barstool and hurried towards the door.


	3. Chapter 3

I sat on my barstool, dumfounded.

I had just laid it all out there for Bella – well maybe not all of it, but enough to let her know I was interested – and she left.

Perhaps she wasn't interested in me. Maybe she was confused. I mean, she just had been on a date earlier this evening, and here I was asking her for another. Maybe I had pushed her too far too quickly – the shock of our reunion running into the shock of me asking her out, and she hadn't known how to respond.

I continued battling internally, with my insecurities, trying to figure out every single explanation for her disappearance. I don't know how long I sat there, concentrating as hard as a mathematician, and I truly was trying to solve an equation here.

I finally cleared my head from my wonderings and decided to wait ten minutes. Ten minutes, and then I would pay this stinking bar tab and head home, alone, as it has always been and might always be, for me. I would know that I had tried, and I would know that I had failed. I would know that I was not the one she could imagine being with, and that would hurt, immensely. But, at least I would know I had tried.

I glanced at my watch. Eight minutes more. It seemed tempting to let the eight minutes drag into eighteen, but if she wouldn't return in the next few minutes, I knew she wouldn't be returning at all, and allowing myself to wallow and drink away my sorrows in this restaurant probably wouldn't be a good idea.

Just then, I felt her, behind me. I hadn't heard her, but I knew she was there.

"Edward?" she asked quietly.

I turned, slowly, facing her. She slipped back into her barstool. I took the opportunity to study her.

She had taken her coat off once more, it rested over the crook of her arm, and as she sat down, it rested in her lap. Her face seemed paler than earlier, the small amount of makeup she had worn before had disappeared. Had she washed her face in the restroom? Not many women I know did that in the middle of a night out. Sure enough, I could see small beads of moisture sitting up along her hairline. She must have rinsed her face. But why?

"I'm sorry for running out like that. I needed a bit of fresh air. It felt so hot in here all of a sudden! I'm sorry I kept you waiting. You probably thought I was making a run for it," she said. I could tell she was completely serious, though she laughed a hard chuckle, trying to make light of the situation. Maybe she knew well enough that was exactly what I had thought.

It took me a moment to gather my thoughts. I cleared my throat.

"No worries," I said slowly. "At least you're back now." I realized my voice sounded strong, convincing. Nothing at all like I felt.

But, for the moment, I could relish the fact that she _had_ returned. The idea of going out with me was not despicable to her as I had feared she had thought.

She smiled up at me, a smile that relayed that she was relieved I didn't think her actions strange. I couldn't help but smile back, a little too widely, showing my giddiness. I decided to let her take the reins now.

She lifted her glass to her lips and took a sip of her wine. Then she turned to me and looked me square in the eyes, seducing me with her gaze. I felt my mind go blank as I stared into the deep pools of her eyes.

"The truth is, Edward, I needed a moment to collect my thoughts. You were just so… so…straightforward with me a few moments ago. Telling me how you felt and that you wanted to see me again. It was so brave. It was exactly what I wanted to tell you, yet I couldn't make myself say the words. I have a way of turning incoherent around you. That hasn't changed after all these years. I would love to see you again, Edward."

I melted. In that moment, I resembled nothing of the man I had been seconds earlier. I was a puddle of mush in this woman's presence. I altogether did not resent the feeling. If anyone could ever make me feel like a spineless jellyfish, I would want it to be none other than Bella.

I could only imagine what else she could make me feel. If I felt this way just hearing the words that she wanted to see me again, imagine what she could make me feel like as we declared our love for one another, she accepted my marriage proposal, as we made sweet love… oh the thoughts were driving me insane.

Had I heard her correctly? She wanted to see me too, and what was that part about how it was exactly what she wanted to tell me, but couldn't say it? Did that mean she cared for me too?

I vowed it to myself to find out.

I broke out an exulting smile, one that made her gasp as she looked at me.

"Thank you Bella. God, it's just so good to see you. I'm so glad we bumped into each other tonight." This was all an understatement.

It was her turn to smile a dazzling grin at me. One that nearly knocked me off my feet.

"I'm glad too Edward. We still have more to catch up on. Let me give you my number."

She pulled a cell phone out of her purse and started punching in some keys. I did the same, and created a new entry for Bella Swan. We exchanged numbers. I decided to catch her off guard and have a chance to tease her, so I lifted my camera phone up and snapped a picture of her just as she wasn't paying attention. Her face was directed towards me, but her eyes shifted to the right, in the direction of the dining room of the restaurant. She had a slight smile on her lips, and her expression was that of someone who has a private secret. Gorgeous. I was suddenly glad I had let the boy at the cell phone store talk me into purchasing the device with the advanced camera.

The flash of the camera brought her back to me, and she playfully slapped my shoulder.

"I didn't even know you were taking a picture! That's not nice. Shouldn't we take pictures of each other actually smiling?" she teased.

"You were smiling, and I'm happy with my photo, though I wouldn't mind more," I kidded right back. Where was my confidence coming from? Maybe my no-holding-back attitude was doing the trick.

"Well, then, it's my turn," she said, as she pulled her camera back up, poised to take my picture.

I suddenly became shy. I didn't particularly like my picture taken. I glanced away from her, my eyes anywhere but hers.

"Edward, you have to smile."

I glanced at her then, and her wide smile made me flash a crooked one. I couldn't help it. She was contagious.

Of course, at that moment, her flash went off in my eyes.

"Hmm," she purred, thoughtfully looking down at the screen of her phone.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh… nothing," she replied, though she wouldn't quite meet my eyes. A small smile played on her soft pink lips. Something I would need to stop staring at it if I was expected to continue making conversation with her.

We chatted a few minutes more, and I asked how long she was planning on staying in town. I asked her to promise to tell me her departure date. I casually made the pretense of asking that so that I would know when to ask her out for our date by, but really, my goal was to try and spend as much time with her before then without being stalker-ish creepy.

Suddenly, she tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn, and I knew our time was coming to an end.

"So Bella, do you have a car here?" I asked, still not wanting to divulge that I had heard her conversation with her blind date from earlier.

"Um, no actually..."

"Can I give you a ride?" I asked, trying not to sound too eager. Anything to spend more time with her.

"I'd love that, thank you," she replied.

I paid our bar tab and held out my arm for her. She smiled at the gesture and looped her arm through mine. It took everything I had not to pull her arm tighter to me and grasp her hand to hold it.

I opened the passenger side door for her and she climbed in. I drove slowly through the sleeping town, wanting to prolong anytime I had with her.

Suddenly, Bella asked if we could stop at the small grocery store for a moment.

"I just need to pick up a few things. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," I said to her with a smile.

It was late, and the store would probably be closing soon. Nonetheless, we rushed to the door and found it open. She squealed with delight at this discovery and we made our way into the store.

She grabbed a shopping cart on the way in and headed straight for the drink aisle. She grabbed a few two-liter bottles of ginger ale and then a few huge jugs of drinking water. We hit the frozen aisle next where she grabbed a carton of vanilla bean ice cream, and then we went to the produce section and she grabbed a few lemons and a few limes.

"The ginger ale is for dad, it helps his stomach when it's upset from the treatments. And I like sprucing up my water with some fruit slices. Makes things different," she said, smirking at me as I eyed her purchases.

We were in the back of the store, rounding an aisle to head to the front so that we could go through the check out line, when the lights of the store suddenly turned off, and we were engulfed in black.


	4. Chapter 4

It took a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.

"Edward?" I heard Bella whispering.

"Yes, Bella… I'm right here," I said, reaching through the darkness to where I had heard her voice coming from. My hand soon bumped into something soft, and I quickly realized it was her shoulder. She turned to face me and put her hands on my arm.

"Um, I think we might be locked in here!" Bella cried, in a tone that sounded almost offended.

"Hold onto my hand, let's move to the front of the store," I told her.

We stumbled slightly through the darkness and got to the front of the store. Sure enough, the double doors were locked, a chain with a padlock wrapped around the bars from the outside.

"Okay, let's not panic," I told her, pulling out my cell phone. She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled hers out as well.

"Hmm, I have no signal in here," Bella complained, moving the phone around different angles in front of the windows.

"Neither do I," I said. "Okay, now that our eyes are adjusting a little bit, can you see okay to go back up the aisles? Why don't you try to find us some candles and I'll look around for the store's phone. They must have one at one of the cash registers."

She agreed and trekked off towards the house wares aisle. I looked around for a phone and found one placed under the register of check stand three.

I picked it up and got a dial tone, and started to dial, when I heard the dial tone hitch. Hmm, I must have to dial 9 or something for an outside extension. Yep, that worked. I called my friend Jasper. It was nearing midnight, he may or may not be otherwise engaged, but it was worth a try. There was no answer. I thought about calling Emmett, but knew there wouldn't be anything he could do either, even if I could get a hold of him. We would need to stay here until the store opened in the morning.

I heard the click of Bella's heels on the linoleum floor and hung up the phone. She produced two church candles and then pulled two more from the crooks of her arms. She then surprised me by pulling a butane lighter out of her purse and lighting the candles.

"Do you smoke, Bella?" I asked, not able to keep the disapproving tone out of my voice.

"Of course not, don't be silly," she scoffed. "My dad told me long ago that you'll never know when you need to light something, so that I might as well keep a lighter in my purse," she explained, as the candlelight developed into a soft glow around us. I nodded.

"Did you make contact with anyone?" she asked.

"No, I called my friend Jasper, but there was no answer."

"Jasper Whitlock?" she asked.

"The very one," I chuckled.

"Oh wow, I haven't seen him, well, since as long as I've seen you! What's he up to these days?"

"He's married now, to Alice. I guess that was decided for them long ago," I couldn't keep the smile out of my voice. "Anyway, he works from home actually, on a contractual basis for historians. He's basically a research assistant for a historian that concentrates on American wars. He and Alice have two small children, Jackson and Jenna. They're twins, fraternal. They're amazing," I finished, smiling, my mind thinking back to my godchildren.

She nodded thoughtfully, a smile on her plump lips. "That sounds exactly like I thought Jasper's life would end up. I'm so happy for him and Alice! God, if two people were ever meant to be, it was them! What does Alice do?"

"Alice? She actually started a women's clothing company on the internet. You know her and her fashion."

"Oh yes," she smiled.

We were silent for a few moments, and then she moved to where I was standing.

"Well, I'm going to call the house and tell Charlie we're stuck in here. I guess we'll just have to wait it out until morning, huh?" she asked.

"I don't mind if you don't. I'm not due back at the hospital for two days. Why don't you call Charlie and I'll look around for some stuff to make our stay more comfortable."

She picked up the phone and I yelled back to her that she'll have to dial 9 to get outside. Meanwhile, I picked up the nearest candle and started up the aisles. I found an end display of soft throw blankets for 3.99 each, and grabbed several of them. In this small store, they didn't sell anything in the way of pillows, so we'd have to fold up the blankets and improvise. As I moved to the back of the store, I saw a door with a sign that said "Employee Lounge", and opened it up. Inside, there was a vending machine, a long table with chairs, a sink and drain board, and against the side wall, a couch.

_Perfect_, I thought to myself, as I set three of the blankets on the couch and two on the floor. As I dropped the blankets onto the floor, I knelt down with my candle and noticed the floor was carpeted. Not with plush carpet, mind you, more like the thin, scratchy, industrial type, but it would have to do. I'm sure sleeping on this carpet wouldn't be much different than sleeping in the on call room at the hospital, what with how hard those mattresses were.

I nearly jogged back to the front of the store, but stopped when I didn't see Bella anywhere in sight. Where did she go?

"Edward?" I heard her call from the other side of the store. "I'm back by our shopping cart. Figured I'd put the ice cream and stuff back in their freezer."

I grabbed the rest of the lit candles and made my way back to her, where she was holding a candle and dispersing her groceries back onto the shelves. That was Bella, always thinking of the right things over the things that she wanted. She was so kind and selfless.

"I managed to make us a couple of makeshift beds," I told her, a little proudly. I was just happy she wouldn't have to be uncomfortable on the floor tonight.

"Great! Were you a boy scout when you were younger? You whipped up some solutions for us pretty quickly," she teased. _Oh Bella, if you only realized what else I could whip up for you…_

"Well, at least we won't be too uncomfortable tonight. Come on." I took her hand and led her back to the employee lounge. My brain worked rapidly trying to think of ways that I could keep holding her hand longer.

Once inside the lounge, she examined the sleeping areas and sat down in a chair. She set her purse down on the table and removed her jacket, draping it over her purse. Then she removed her shoes and began to sit on the floor.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I asked her.

"I'm going to sleep. I'm a little tired and I had a few glasses of wine tonight."

"Not down there, you're not. I made the couch up for you."

She smiled up at me, then stood and sat on the edge of the couch.

"Thanks, Edward."

"My pleasure," I told her sincerely, holding her gaze until she glanced away, blushing.

"Something embarrass you?" I asked in a teasing manner.

"Um, no," she answered, a little too quickly.

She untucked her blouse from her skirt and laid down, pulling two of the blankets around her. I removed my shoes and jacket, and my wallet, keys, and phone from my pockets and placed them on the table as well. Then I lowered myself onto the floor and tried to get as comfortable as possible.

"Did you get a hold of Charlie?" I asked.

"No, there was no answer, I'm sure he's already asleep. I left a message on the answering machine, though, in case he wakes up and wonders where I am."

"Oh that's good," I replied, glad that Charlie wouldn't be assuming she had spent the night with her blind date.

"Mmhmm," she replied, and I knew she was getting sleepy.

"Are you ready for me to blow out the candles?" I asked.

"Sure, whenever you're ready. Thanks for taking care of me, Edward. It's all my fault we're stuck in here in the first place."

"Don't worry about it, Bella. It was my pleasure, and these things happen. At least we're making light of the situation and not freaking out about it. That's what most people would do," I said as I blew out the four candles on the floor.

Things were silent for a while, except for our breathing and the humming of the vending machine. I wondered if she'd fallen asleep, but then realized her breath was uneven.

"Bella?" I said softly, not wanting to wake her if she was indeed sleeping.

"Hmm?"

"I meant what I said, tonight in the restaurant. I did care for you in high school. I considered you a… good friend, even though we really only spoke in Biology. I've thought about you a lot over the years," I told her honestly. I was still reveling in my newfound confidence and wanted to keep up with my no-hold-back attitude. I wanted her to know me. I wanted her to know my intentions were good and sincere.

She was quiet for a moment, and then answered me softly.

"I've thought about you a lot too, Edward. I always wondered what happened to you, wondering if you were happy with your life. I wished such great things for you. You, more than most people, deserved them. You are good and kind, a loyal friend, a hard worker. To be honest, I'd always had sort of a crush on you," she admitted.

I gasped, quietly. I allowed myself to soar high above the clouds for a few moments, elated in the fact that she liked me – or had at one point – liked me too. I knew it could be nothing compared to the way that I loved her, but it was enough. Maybe that "crush" could ignite again, for her, and then maybe we'd have a future together.

I realized I owed her an answer after she laid that tidbit out there. What to tell her without sounding like an obsessive fool? _Keep with the truth_, I reminded myself.

"Oh, Bella. I had quite a crush on you as well," I said softly.

This caused her to prop herself up on her elbow and face me on the floor. From the glow of the vending machine, I could make out her outline.

"Really? Why didn't you ever ask me out, or something?" she demanded.

I sighed. "To be perfectly honest, I was pretty shy back then. Though I thought you were funny, smart, and kind, if we hadn't been lab partners, I probably wouldn't have worked up the nerve to ever talk to you. You seemed too far out of my league," I admitted glumly. I didn't want to exactly reveal all the remorse I felt for never asking her out, even after all these years.

"Wow," she breathed, and then was quiet again.

I waited a few minutes, and then asked her, "What are you thinking?"

It took her a moment to reply. "I was thinking about that girl's choice dance that we had the spring of junior year. Do you remember that?"

I did, clearly. Of course I had had an errant thought that maybe Bella would ask me, but that was quickly erased. There wasn't anyway she'd ever be interested in me, I had convinced myself. When she ended up going with Mike Newton, I was crushed.

"Yes." I answered simply.

"I had thought about asking you to it. There were a few times I almost did, in class. I kept looking for a sign from you, something that told me that you might be interested too. I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, but I didn't find anything that made me hopeful. So I chickened out. Then I kicked myself because I figured that if there ever was one, that that silly dance would have been the ideal opportunity to ask you out and show you I was interested in you. I just didn't think I could take it if you had turned me down. So when Mike Newton asked if I would go with him, I just blurted out a yes."

I was surprised by her speech. Here, I had always thought how I was unworthy of her, and in some degree she had felt the same way about me. How ironic.

I shook my head, chuckling softly. "Bella, isn't it funny how these things work out? Here, we'd always wondered how each other's lives had turned out. We bump into each other tonight and you agree to a date with me. Now we're stuck inside a grocery store overnight together. I mean, this is like something out of a movie." I laughed again.

She laughed softly as well. "Well, I guess it's better late than never. I'm glad we ran into each other tonight. Who knows, Edward, maybe we'll hit it off and live happily ever after," she said, and I realized she was serious.

"That would be wonderful," I murmured. I didn't want to spoil the moment and say anything else.

I heard a slight rustling of her blankets, and then felt her hand on my shoulder. She rested it there for a moment, and then moved her hand down my chest, to where my hands were clasped across my stomach. I untwined my hands and touched hers. She interlocked our fingers and signed, happily.

"Goodnight, Edward," she whispered.

"Goodnight, Bella. Sleep well."


	5. Chapter 5

My own dream is what woke me the next morning.

It was a delightful dream, full of bright, swirling colors, shapes dancing across my closed lids. Still, I felt peaceful. I was weightless in my dream, as if the problems of my entire life had been lifted off of me and I was at last, serene. I wasn't sad when the dream ended; I was thankful I had had it at all.

I couldn't tell what time it was, there were no windows in the little employee lounge that we had made our bedroom for the night. I sat up in the makeshift bed, not nearly as sore as I thought I would be, and looked at Bella. I could faintly see her in the dark. She looked like an angel sleeping on that couch, her face smooth and peaceful, her lips puckered up slightly into a little pout. She was lying on her stomach, with her right arm dangling down the side of the couch. Somehow, our hands had become untwined in the night.

Our hands. I had fallen asleep holding hands with my beautiful Bella. Okay, so it wasn't in the most ideal circumstances. Still, I knew I'd never forget last night. I couldn't help but reply our conversation in my head. To know that she had once liked me as well made me feel a myriad of feelings. First, I still felt the remorse that I just hadn't asked her out back then. Maybe I'd never get over that. But more importantly, I now felt elation at the fact that she had felt the same way. I vowed it to myself and to Bella that I would try and make this newfound courtship everything that she could ask for. I wanted Bella to find happiness even more so than myself. If that happiness could be with me, then I would show her the way. That thought had me grinning from ear to ear.

The part of our conversation that stuck out the most, of course, was the part about how she mentioned us possibly having a happily ever after. I wondered if maybe that was something that she could envision happening one day with us, or if it was something maybe she's wanted all this time. I knew that I would love Bella forever, as long as I existed, in this world and whatever came next. I could only hope that one day she loved me too.

I stood up and slipped on my shoes, and replaced my wallet, keys, and phone into my pockets. I decided to chance a look in the store and see what was going on, if anything. The store could have been alive and buzzing, for all I knew.

Upon inspection, I noticed that the store hadn't opened yet. I could see sunlight coming in through the windows at the front of the store, so I made my way up there. I saw a clock on the wall that read 6:44am. Peeking at the business hours on the door, I saw that the store was scheduled to open in 16 minutes.

I turned and made my way back up the toiletries aisle, and picked up two toothbrushes and a tube of toothpaste, then made my way back to the employee lounge. I didn't know if Bella was a morning person or not, so no matter what I knew I'd have to wake her gently.

"Bella?" I whispered, patting her on the shoulder.

No response.

I shook her a little harder and called her name again. Nothing.

Maybe she was a heavy sleeper.

"Bella?" I called louder, fully shaking her shoulder now.

"What?" she asked, sounding sleepily annoyed. She must have been enjoying her sleep.

I held back a chuckle.

"Bella, it's time to get up. The store employees will be here shortly," I explained.

That woke her up. She sat up quickly, her eyes darting around before settling on mine. She yawned. She was so adorable.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Good morning," I smiled at her. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Actually, I slept great. First time in a long time, too."

"Do you usually have trouble sleeping?" I asked.

"Most nights, yes. I have a strange sleeping pattern."

"Hmm," I said, sounding concerned. I was, and also oddly curious. I would have to ask her about it sometime.

"I got us some toothbrushes. I don't know about you, but before I face these employees and have a talk with them about not locking their patrons in overnight, I want to brush my teeth," I said with a smirk.

"Sounds good to me," she agreed.

With that, I went over to the attached employee bathroom and brushed my teeth, leaving the toothpaste on the counter for Bella. She went in after me and came back a few moments later, her hair smoother, her face looking refreshed. She must have tried her best to freshen up.

I packed up our blankets while she gathered her purse and coat, and then we headed out into the store.

We walked right up to the cash register where I noticed a short, blond haired girl, staring out the window, looking bored.

At the sound of our footsteps, she started, and turned in our direction, her eyes wide.

"Oh my goodness! I didn't know anyone was in here! That's what I get for opening the store all by myself. People sneaking up on me," she muttered, angrily.

"Ma'am, my name is Edward, and this is my friend, Bella." I cringed at having to call her my friend. I wish it was more. "We've been in this store since nearly midnight last night. We were near the back of the store gathering our groceries when all of a sudden the lights turned out. We tried to open the doors and we tried to call some relatives to help us try to find a way out, to no avail. We resulted to sleeping in your employee lounge."

Blondie's eyes were as wide as saucers and her mouth hung open a little. She said nothing.

"So, um, do you have a manager I could speak to?" I asked. I looked over at Bella, who had been silent through this exchange. She nodded at me, as if asking for the manager was the right thing to do.

"Um, he's… uh –the manager, he's not in yet," the cashier stammered.

"Do you have a number to call him at? I think I should speak to someone about the fact that we were locked in here overnight because there was no announcement to the store's patrons that it was closing time," I told her, firmly. I wasn't just going to be rushed out of this store and not have the situation dealt with.

Not that I minded it, at all. Sure, it wasn't the way I wanted my first overnight with Bella to be, but I had the pleasure of her company throughout the ordeal, and we learned valuable information about one another. Myself being locked in the store, I could care less about. I was not, however, happy about the fact that Bella was locked in a store overnight and this employee seemed to not care.

The cashier rifled through a binder and then reached for the phone. She dialed and then said, "Mr. Newton? I'm sorry to bother you so early, sir. There's been a problem." She proceeded to tell this Mr. Newton our story.

"God, how many Newton's could there be in Forks? I know it's a common enough name, but geez!" Bella whispered to me.

I turned to look at her, a speculative look on my face. She must have realized what I was thinking, as a look of clarity came over her face.

"Do you think?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. I'm not sure what he'd be up to."

Just then the cashier hung up the phone.

"Mr. Newton, our store manager, is on his way down here. He'd appreciate if you'd wait for him, he would like to apologize in person. He shouldn't be more than ten minutes."

"Fine," I told her. Bella and I went to sit on a small garden bench just outside the door with a 49.99 price tag on it.

We chatted casually for a few moments. It was decided that I would drop Bella off at home after this and then I would go home to shower and change, and come back to her house for brunch with her and her father around ten.

"I'd like to cook for you, and I'm sure my father will be pleased to see you. I think he knows I had a crush on you back in school," she admitted, and then blushed.

I had met Chief Swan several times in this small town, but came to know him mostly because of his relation to Bella. Several times throughout our junior year, we were assigned extensive projects that we worked with our lab partners on, and I would always go to her house to work on them. The afternoons often turned into evenings where we would take a break for Bella to begin dinner for her and her father, and I'd be invited to stay as well. I enjoyed Chief Swan, he was a simple man, but obviously cared very much for his daughter, her cooking, this town, and sports. And Bella was a good cook.

Just then, we were approached by a familiar looking man, though neither of us had seen him in years.

"Bella? Oh wow, I can't believe it's you! When did you move back to Forks? Are you single?" Mike Newton blurted out.


	6. Chapter 6

I couldn't help but glare at Mike Newton for his idiocy.

What an asinine thing to ask when first reuniting with someone: "Are you single?"

He must be stupider than I thought.

Mike approached Bella without a single glance at me. He held his arms out as if to hug her, but Bella gracefully and efficiently ducked from him before he had the chance. I was happy that she moved closer to me.

"Hello Mike," she said.

"Yes, hello Mike," I couldn't help adding. He finally turned to look at me, and his mouth dropped open a little.

"Cullen?" he asked, incredulously. I nodded once.

"Wow, didn't expect to see you with Bella," he said meanly.

"Yeah, well, Edward and I are together. So to answer your question, I'm not single," Bella told him pointedly.

Wait, what?

I looked to Bella, who met my eyes and I could read the apology in them as she tried to avert Mike Newton's advances. I was secretly thrilled to be able to have an excuse to act as her boyfriend, not minding in the least that she was technically using me.

I turned and inched behind Bella, and put my arms around her shoulders, nuzzling her hair. I would put on a very convincing act.

"Oh, well… that's nice," Newton said, not sounding as if it really was nice.

"Yes, so – onto other pressing matters," I said, staring at him menacingly. "I understand you're the store manager, and we have a problem."

He turned businesslike all of a sudden, apologizing for our inconvenience, assuring us that their store protocols would be changed to alert dwelling customers that the store was closing, and letting us know that the costs of the blankets, candles, and toiletries would be covered by the store.

"How generous of you," Bella stated.

"It's the least I could do," Mike leered at her, and I agreed.

We exchanged a few more words and then Mike headed into the store. I was glad to be rid of him, but caught by surprise when I realized I was still holding Bella, gently but protectively, and I was enjoying it far too much.

She didn't move further away, rather just turned in my arms so that she was facing me.

"Edward," she sighed, wrapping her arms around my waist. I was surprised by this act but tried not to show it.

"Thank you for going along with me for that. I didn't mean to offend you. It's just that you were here… and I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to fight Mike off… so I wanted him to believe that I was indeed off the market," she chuckled.

"I didn't mind Bella. And I'd like very much for you to be off the market soon, too," I said softly, as we continued to hold each other and stare into each other's eyes. Where was all of this confidence coming from?

The humor abruptly vanished from her beautiful face, and I tried to place the emotion that replaced it. It was almost like… incredulity, maybe. Or was it… awe?

She drew in a ragged breath, and I realized I'd been holding mine too. I dropped my arms, reluctantly, but grabbed her hand instead.

"Come on," I said, and lead her to the car.

I drove her home and reaffirmed our brunch plans. I was sad to leave her as I walked her to the door, but knew she would want her privacy to freshen up, and I wanted to look my best too. I rushed home, showered, shaved, and changed into a dark blue button down and a nice pair of jeans, then flipped through the mail from the previous day. I was comfortable in my home, one I had purchased last year when I'd returned home from Africa and had spent a lot of my free time renovating and decorating to my liking. It was a 1950's ranch style set on an acre of land. The back of the house was full of wildflowers, fruit trees, and a dirt path leading into the forest. I had a lot of extra land here, that I didn't quite know I would do with, but I didn't have any close neighbors, and I enjoyed the quiet. The house hadn't been updated much since it had been built, so one of my first projects was to renovate the kitchen and the heating system. I had a fireplace installed and had the contractor build a wall full of bookshelves in the family room. The house was cozy, with the mid-century feel, yet the modern conveniences I craved. It was home, and I hoped to share it with Bella, knowing the sitting area I'd created by the fireplace for reading would be attractive to her.

I knew I was jumping the gun by thinking of sharing my home with her, but for just a moment, I allowed myself to relish in the events of the past twelve hours. First, seeing Bella again, then finding a way to talk with her and let her know how I felt. Then, being stuck in the grocery store together, and finding out my feelings were reciprocated. It was like a dream.

I glanced at the clock and realized it was time to head over to Bella's. I went out back and carefully selected a handful of wildflowers to take to her. I made sure to mix up the colors, creating an attractive bunch, if I said so myself. I found some twine in the kitchen and tied them up, then rummaged in the fridge until I found a bottle of champagne and a carton of orange juice. I thought Bella and Charlie might appreciate some mimosas.

Bella opened the door when I arrived at the house and broke out into a wide smile. I smiled back at her and found myself breathing a sigh of relief. I thought about that for a moment as she lead me into the house and back towards the kitchen. What was I relieved about? I knew I was happy to find her still here, to know that the things that had flowed between us were not my imagination. I felt the need to pinch myself again.

She had showered and changed into a light blue top and comfortable looking jeans, her hair flowing down her back and her face freshly washed. Since it was sunny and reasonably warm this morning, Bella had set a small patio table in the backyard for brunch, and she thankfully took the champagne and orange juice and mixed up the mimosas before popping the flowers into a vase. I asked if there was anything I could to do help and she politely declined, then urged me to go out back where Charlie was sitting and say hello in the meantime.

I made my way to the sliding patio door and opened it, to find Charlie settling in with the sports section of the paper. As he turned to face me, I looked over his appearance. His hair was grayer and thinner than the last time I'd seen him, his face gaunt and sallow, but I had prepared myself for him to look worse. Maybe his treatments were working well. When he saw me, he stood and smiled, extended his hand and welcomed me. It had been awhile since I had seen him, probably four or five years, I guessed. He wasn't a frequent visitor at the hospital, and I knew he had men under him to patrol now, so it was rare to see him at the scene of a crime. The population of Forks had steadily increased these last years, and with that the police force bulked up, allowing Charlie to focus more on the administrative side of being the Chief of Police and less on catching the bad guys.

We chatted for a few moments, me asking about his job and him asking about mine, before we moved the conversation to sports. Just then, Bella brought out a tray filled with a pitcher of coffee and mugs, the mimosas, fresh fruits and place settings, and asked if I would help her bring the plates out.

I followed her back inside to the kitchen and the mouthwatering smell of hollandaise sauce filled my nose.

"Eggs Benedict? My favorite!" I told her.

"I know," she said shyly. "I remember you once telling me you loved your mother's eggs Benedict on Saturday mornings."

I couldn't respond to her, and just looked at her like the idiot I am. How could she remember such a small and inconsequential tidbit from so long ago?

_Easy_, the voice inside my head whispered. _The same way that you remember every little thing she told you._

I gulped. Perhaps Bella had cared for me more in high school that I had let myself believe. I would love to believe that.

"Uhh, thank you," I finally blurted out. "I hope you didn't go to much trouble to make this. It smells delicious!"

"It was no trouble at all. Thank you for coming," she smiled warmly, and I had to remember to breathe.

Would it ever cease to amaze me how wonderful and gorgeous she was? I thought not.

The meal was delicious. Charlie, Bella, and I shared easy conversation about our blast from the past reunion and our embarrassing overnight stay at the grocery store. I was thankful that Charlie didn't question the outcome of Bella's blind date, but maybe he had done that before I arrived. I lit up every time Bella smiled or laughed, relishing that I was getting to spend such quality time with her. Three hours passed quickly and then Charlie stood up.

"Well, kids, I'm going to go up and take my afternoon nap. You know how I get. It was nice to see you again, Edward. Thank you for coming," Charlie said.

I stood up and shook his hand, thanking him for having me and watched as he retreated into the house.

Bella had begun collecting the plates to take inside and so I helped her. We made our way into the kitchen where Bella automatically turned on the faucet and squirted dish soap onto a sponge. I vaguely remembered the Swan's not having a dishwasher and it appeared that hadn't changed.

I picked up a dish towel and turned to Bella.

"I'll help you dry," I said.

"Nonsense! You're my guest!" she said and whipped the towel out of my hand so quickly, I got a rug burn on my palm.

"Bella, you cooked a wonderful meal, it's the least I could do." Truthfully, I wanted any excuse to stay near her.

"Well… okay," she agreed, and we settled in to work.

I asked her about her mom and Phil and she reported they were still happily married, moving every few years for him to join a new team. She asked me for details on my job and I delivered them, sharing stories about my favorite patients with her.

It seemed so natural to do a mundane task such as dishwashing with Bella. I could see us settling easily into sharing a home together, divvying up the chores, just enjoying being with one another. Before long the kitchen was cleaned and the dishes put away, but I couldn't find myself wanting to leave.

I pulled her into the living room and sat down on the couch, pulling her down to me. I didn't remove my hand from hers once we were seated.

"Bella, are you free tonight? Would you be available to have dinner with me?" I asked her intensely. I wanted her to accept so badly.

She smiled. "I'd love to Edward," she answered, and I found us in one of those moments, staring into each other's eyes, not caring about the passing of time. I could sit like this all day.

Bella eventually cleared her throat and ducked her head, blushing. I wondered what she was blushing about.

I told her I'd pick her up, although she tried to protest, and then asked what she should wear. I told her to dress comfortably.

"Where will we go Edward?"

"It's a… surprise."

She frowned. I remembered that she didn't really like surprises.

"Don't worry, you'll like this." I assured her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note at the end of this chapter, please read!!**

I left the Swan residence and stopped off at the market, picking up essentials for the night. I purchased a fresh salmon that had just been caught that morning and told the clerk I'd fillet it myself. I hit the produce section, gathering ripe tomatoes, avocados, and croutons for a salad, then stopped and got extra virgin olive oil for the dressing. I make a mean vinaigrette and I was going to pull all the stops out for Bella tonight. A fresh loaf of sourdough bread made it into my basket as well.

I couldn't resist stopping and getting a few candles and some fresh flowers. My wildflowers were great, but I wanted something special for the table. I was suddenly glad that I purchased candle holders and a crystal vase when I went shopping for house wares last year. My mother had told me I might need them on a whim sometime and that I'd be glad I had them. I guess mom does know best.

I got home and put the groceries away, then changed into rattier clothes and tidied up a bit, wanting the house to be presentable. A part of me thought maybe I was rushing things, bringing Bella to my house so soon. But I wanted her to really know me, just as I wanted to know her. I wanted to share my entire life with her, and have us know each other completely. I also didn't feel like continuing our conversations in a crowded restaurant on a Saturday night and I thought cooking her dinner and having a relaxing evening would suit us both.

I made my way into my bedroom and deposited my embarrassing purchase of the day into the nightstand table. It had been a long, long time since I'd needed to purchase condoms, and I wasn't having those expectations of Bella. Rather, I decided while at the market that I needed to be prepared, that it was the right thing to be prepared, in case things escalated in that way. I would never assume Bella was the type of girl – er, woman – to sleep with someone on a first date, but I also knew myself well enough to know that if things got started between us, I may not be able to stop myself. Bella was just far too tempting, for her good or mine. It was the right thing to do to be prepared.

And while I was at it, I decided I'd better change the sheets, just in case.

An hour later I emerged from the shower and got dressed and donned an apron. So, I'm not really an apron kinda guy, but I didn't want to mess up my clothes and get fish guts all over them. Shut up.

As I worked the salmon and got it in to marinate, I couldn't resist glancing at the clock every few minutes. I was nervous and anxious and excited and hopeful. What I had to do tonight had my stomach in a ball of nerves. At least I had plenty of help in the form of liquid courage in my wine rack. Finally, it was time to go pick up Bella, so I threw the apron off and nearly ran out to my car.

Bella answered the door looking absolutely beautiful. Her hair was shiny and wavy and flowed down her back, and half of it was twisted and pinned up on the back of her head. She wore a red silk blouse and a pair of faded jeans and black flats.

After several long minutes of me ogling her, she cleared her throat, then smiled as my eyes snapped back up to her face.

"Bella, you look amazing!" I couldn't help exclaiming.

"Well, thanks Edward. It's just jeans and a top though," she said. "Ready to go?"

"Absolutely," I said. I took her hand and helped her into the car.

"So, will you tell me where we're going now?" she asked once we were speeding down the highway.

"Um… I thought it might be nice to just relax tonight, take it easy, and get to know each other better. So we're going to my place and I'm cooking dinner." I waited impatiently for her response, not knowing how she would react.

A wide smile graced her lips, and she looked pleased. "I was hoping we were going to your house," Bella said coyly.

"You—you were?" I asked, more than a little surprised.

"Mmhmm. I want to talk to you about something, and its better that's not in a restaurant."

"What do you need to talk to me about?" I asked nervously. Surely, she wouldn't be telling me she didn't want to see me again after spending the evening with me. She could have told me that on the phone… or this morning.

"We'll get to it. Let's enjoy the evening," she said, and turned to stare out the passenger window.

I made a conscious effort to try and push my nervousness and her cryptic remarks out of my head, and to do what she asked – enjoy the evening.

**AN: I'm sorry this chapter is short, especially after a long time of me updating. I really had to decide which way I wanted this story to go. This was mostly a filler chapter that is setting the stage for their evening, and that's why I decided to end it here. There's a lot that needs to be said on their night together and the next chapter will be long. I hope to have it up soon and hope you enjoy.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: This chapter contains some material that may be difficult to read. There is a tough discussion between Edward and Bella in this chapter and it's not pretty. Please be forewarned.  
**

"So then I told him, putting pennies up his nose was not going to mean that he could come to the hospital more often just to collect all my stickers!"

Bella and I cracked up laughing as I told her some stories about my patients. The night was going extremely well. The dinner had turned out great, if I say so myself, and we were having a good time exchanging stories and continuing to get to know one another.

I picked up the wine bottle and topped off Bella's glass, and then my own. She had been here for about three hours now, and I knew it was getting time to have our little "talk". I knew what I needed to talk to her about, but I had no idea what she needed to discuss with me. As soon as I allowed myself to think about that again, I became nervous, and felt a tight stabbing pain in my stomach that I imagined was very close to what getting stabbed with an ice pick would feel like.

Bella seemingly noticed my preoccupation, and all at once the smile was off her beautiful face. Apparently, it was time to get serious.

I looked up at her and smiled, in a hopefully reassuring way.

"So Bella, you said you needed to talk to me about something. Were you ready to do that now?" I asked lightly. I tried to keep the nervousness and intensity out of my voice, and I truly wanted her to feel ready to talk, not just because I'd brought it up.

She looked down at her hands that were placed in her lap. A moment later, she spoke.

"Actually Edward, you mentioned while we were eating you needed to talk to me too. Do you mind going first?" she asked, still avoiding my eyes.

Crap.

I tried to search her face for any sign of what she was thinking, but Bella was not the open book most people are. Suddenly, this felt like jumping off of a diving board into a pool that has no water in it. This would be all on me to start things off and hope I didn't royally screw it up. I need to act quickly, think on my feet, in case I freaked her out and she ran out the door screaming. Would I be allowed to tell her I loved her before she left? I tried to remind myself that I would not let my nervousness or lack of confidence get in the way of my shot at Bella this time. I was no longer a fumbling seventeen year old that was too shy to tell a girl he likes her. I took a few deep breaths and began. It was now or never.

"Bella, I could sit here all night and think of a hundred ways of going about saying this, but I've decided to not be eloquent and just come out with it. I… like you. A lot. And I know we just reunited after not seeing each other for so long, but… I just want a chance at being with you. I want to date you, and only you. I haven't dated anyone in a long time, and that's because no one has really caught my eye. You have. You're lovely and intriguing and beautiful and smart. You always have been. I want to see where this might lead us," I told her. I surprised even myself when I reached out to her and took her hand in my own.

I watched her face the entire time, searching for her reaction, while a smaller part of my brain re-ran over the words I had spoken to her. Had I said everything I'd needed to? Yes. Had it sounded corny? Don't care. I had needed to get it out. I wanted Bella to know that I wanted to be with her, and only her. I loved her. I wanted her to be mine. Only for me. Will never share.

She looked back at me for a long moment once I finished talking, and then her thumb began tracing soft circles on my hand. She smiled up at me and her expression softened.

"Edward…" she said, and she raised her hand to touch my face.

Her touch felt amazing, and I felt as if my body was having an electrical current running through it. Could this be normal? I had never felt this way when anyone else had ever touched me. I couldn't help sighing and leaning into her hand a little.

I continued to watch her, wondering what she was thinking, speculating on what she would say, what she would do. I stopped breathing. The suspense was becoming unbearable.

"Bella, please say something. What are you thinking?" I finally asked.

I had no warning, no advance notice. Her move was hasty and fierce, and all of a sudden her lips were on mine, and as she pressed her body closer to me, she let out a small groan.

The initial shock wore off quickly, and then I was kissing her back. My hands wound around her neck and in her hair and I pulled her nearer. I felt her lips part under mine and when our tongues touched, I let out a moan. I suddenly couldn't get enough of her, I wanted more. I clasped my arms around her waist and back and pulled her onto me, and her knees were on either side of my legs as I still sat in the dining room chair. I felt Bella's warm hands in my hair and around my neck and then fluttering down my back.

I was in heaven. I was kissing the woman of my dreams, the only woman I had ever loved, and I never wanted to stop.

Eventually, we both pulled away for air, but our hands remained on each other and we gazed at one another in wonder and awe. She was so beautiful. Her lips were full and swollen, her cheeks slightly flushed. I ran my hands through her hair, from the top of her head down to her waist. She smiled at me shyly, then lowered her legs and turned to sit full in my lap facing away from me. Bella pulled my arms from behind her and brought them over her shoulders, holding my hands in hers, and rested her head on my shoulder. I nuzzled in her hair and hugged her closer.

"Edward, I'd love to be with you too," Bella whispered.

I closed my eyes, and sighed with content. Bella was perfection, and I was just, well, me. The fact that she could want to be with me too had an almost dreamlike quality to it.

I smiled, and she turned her face towards mine. I leaned towards her a little farther and kissed her once more, softly, sweetly. My lips left hers, but I wasn't done with my explorations yet. I ran my nose over her cheek, down her jaw line and neck and then back up to her earlobe. She smelled amazing. Bella shivered slightly, and I would love to think that was not because she was cold.

An errant thought reminded me that I hadn't spoken in awhile, though possibly my actions had made up for that. Still, I felt the need to reciprocate her acceptance of my wanting to be with her.

"Bella," my voice was husky, a rough whisper, and that surprised even me. "Bella, I've wanted to do that for as long as I can remember. Thank you. For wanting to be with me too. For wanting to see where this could lead for us."

"I was nervous. I couldn't think of anything worthy to say. I kind of surprised myself when I realized I was kissing you. I hadn't thought of it, I don't remember planning it. I just did it. But, that sort of goes along with my plan for you," Bella said a little sheepishly.

"Plan for me? What do you mean?" I asked hesitantly.

"I decided on a plan, last night, when I came back to the table. I didn't tell you the whole reason I'd left when you told me you wanted to see me again. The truth is, I was a little amazed that you would want to see me at all. I mean, I'm nothing special, and when I first saw you, I thought that we'd sit and catch up and then say good evening and it was good to see you. I had hoped for more, but didn't know how to convey that. I was shy and fumbling and nervous. When I first heard your voice, I thought I was dreaming. I mean, it _sounded_ like you, but I didn't think it could have been. What were the chances?

So I became flustered, I guess you could say. I needed to take a few moments to get my bearings and calm myself down. And when I was in the restroom, I decided to let my guard down and just be myself with you. Hold nothing back. I've had a wall up for far too long, not wanting to let anyone in, because I didn't think I had found the right person. But I'm tired of living like that. And I didn't want to have that wall up around you. I have this overwhelming… need, almost… to want you to know me. And I want to know you. And that just doesn't work well when I've got the Great Wall of China wrapped around my heart. That's what I wanted to talk to you about tonight. I wanted to tell you that I want to be with you."

I was stunned at Bella's speech. It was everything I had felt, everything I had struggled with in these past 24 hours. How am I still even awake? All of the emotions coursing through me in such a short amount of time should have exhausted me.

But I was wider awake than I had been in years. I was elated; I felt like I was walking on air.

"Bella, I want you to know me too, and I want to learn about you, I want to know all about you. I want us to spend time together and experience new things together and travel, and just – enjoy each other's company. I want to share books and movies and talk about art and music. I want us to cook for each other and meet each other's families. And we can do that however fast or slow we want. I just want us to try, and see where this all goes. Oh – and that bit about you being nothing special? You are utterly absurd, Bella. Trust me just this once – you are the opposite of ordinary." I told Bella as I kissed her cheek and felt her blush.

Of course, I wanted to ask her to spend forever with me on the spot. But I owed it to Bella to do this her way, go at her pace. The rest could come later.

And later seemed like a great thing to me, as long as I had Bella by my side, I didn't care how long anything took.

"Whew!" Bella said. "I feel so relieved, getting that all off my chest. It's like a liberation that you know how I feel and where I'm coming from, and I'm glad I know how you feel, too."

We fell silent then, still holding one another, every so often our hands moving to caress a different part of the other. I couldn't stop touching her hair or her face. She was so soft and warm and beautiful.

Eventually, Bella yawned a little, and I knew it was time to get her home. I didn't even know what time it was, but it was late. I hated to see her go.

"You're getting sleepy. I should take you home," I murmured into her hair.

"I don't want to go home yet. I don't want to leave you."

My heart skipped a little at her sentiment. I thought for a moment. "Do you want to stay the night here? I could dig up some PJ's for you and you can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep on the couch," I offered.

"Do you mind?" she asked.

"Of course not, silly. Should you call Charlie?"

"Probably. I don't want him to worry."

We stood up and I led her to the kitchen and handed her the phone. Then I retreated to my bedroom and dug up a T-shirt and flannel pajama pants, and a sweatshirt. I wasn't sure how warm she would want to dress for bed.

I was startled when I saw Bella in the doorway to my bedroom. I laid the clothes on the bed for her.

"Here," I said. "You can wear these. I have an extra toothbrush in the bathroom, too. See? That was easy. Home away from home," I smiled at her.

Bella smiled back. "Thanks, Edward. I appreciate it."

I turned out of the bedroom and closed the door so that she could have some privacy. I went into the bathroom and found a spare toothbrush and left it on the counter for her. It was then that I noticed my hands were shaking.

Well, it had been an eventful evening – no, eventful day. And I realized I was a little nervous about having Bella sleeping here at my house. It seemed to be such a personal thing. I loved that she wanted to stay near me as I wanted to stay near her, but having her sleeping in my bed – alone – was going to mean I probably wouldn't get much sleep on the couch, thinking about her in the next room.

But at least I could cook her breakfast in the morning and we could read the paper while we drank coffee and maybe she would want to spend the day with me. I would hope for that.

I heard the bedroom door open and Bella emerged in my clothes. She decided to forgo the sweatshirt and just wore the T-shirt and flannel pants. Somehow, seeing her in my clothes, even if they were just pajamas, was oddly erotic.

I pulled myself together and realized I had been staring at her, and my eyes snapped back up to her face. She smiled slightly and I realized she was waiting to use the bathroom.

"Oh! I'm – so sorry! Um, here. I left some stuff on the counter for you. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," I blurted out, probably turning five shades of red. I was so embarrassed. From behind me, I heard her chuckle.

I blew through the dining room and took our wine glasses into the kitchen sink and tidied up a bit. I knew I needed to get back into my bedroom to change into my own pajamas, so I cautiously made my way to the back of the house.

I found Bella, in my bedroom once more, her back to me. She was leafing through my copy of Wuthering Heights.

Just then, she must have heard me, because she turned around with a sheepish look on her face.

"I'm sorry. I was just surprised to see this here. I didn't take you for one that likes the classics."

I walked towards her and looked at the tattered book. I had been reading that thing so many times over the past few years, it wasn't even funny.

"I don't mind at all. I've read that thing over and over, but there are parts I still don't get. I hope the more that I read it, maybe something will finally click inside my head and make sense."

"It's a dark tale. I've read it several times myself. Maybe we could have a discussion on it one of these days," Bella said with a smirk.

"Why do I get the feeling that you would totally win that debate?"

"It's only a debate if you don't agree with me, Edward. Maybe I'll be able to shed a little light on the parts that evade you."

"I might have to take you up on that, Miss Swan. Maybe over breakfast tomorrow? I was thinking of cooking pancakes or something, if you'd be able to stay for awhile once we woke up."

"Sounds great. I don't really have any plans for tomorrow. Did you?"

"Actually, no. Maybe we could do something. Go for a hike, maybe?"

"I'd like that," she smiled.

"Great. Well, I'm going to grab some pajamas and then go make up the couch. Be right back," I told her.

I grabbed another set of pajamas out of my dresser and headed into the bathroom, where I changed and brushed my teeth. I threw my clothes into the hamper and then went into the linen closet and grabbed a spare pillow, pillowcase, and blanket, and threw them on the couch in the living room.

I walked back to my bedroom and was surprised to find Bella sitting on the edge of my bed, reading the book again.

"Can't get enough of it, can you?" I asked.

"I was picking out some good parts for our discussion tomorrow."

"Hmm. Well I can remember a few off the top of my head that have continued to stump me. I'll have to remember to ask you about those."

"Sure thing. So, are you sleepy?" Bella asked. This question surprised me. She said it in a tone that sounded almost hopeful, that maybe she was wishing I wasn't ready to leave her yet.

"I'll probably turn in soon, but I'm not usually one of those people that fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow," I said. I tried to word my response carefully. In truth, I didn't want to leave her. And, knowing that she was sleeping in my bed, would mean I'd probably lie awake for hours thinking about her.

Bella ducked her head down and looked at her hands. Her cheeks flushed slightly and it appeared she was embarrassed about something.

"I was hoping to talk to you some more," Bella said in a small voice, while still looking down.

"Of course, Bella. You can talk to me about anything."

She looked at me then and smiled a half smile. "It's not an easy thing to talk about. And it might take awhile. So if you're sleepy, maybe we should wait until morning."

There was no way I'd be able to sleep after that cliffhanger.

"I'm awake enough tonight. Let's talk."

"Okay. And now I have something else to ask you and I'm not sure how to say it," she blurted out, so quickly I had to concentrate to catch all of the words. "I was… hoping you might consider sleeping in here. With me. I think it's too soon for us to go any… farther, but this is your house and your bed, and well… I felt comfortable last night with you right below me, even if it was in unpleasant circumstances. Will you stay in here, please?"

My heart soared at her request, and I knew it was beating rapidly. God, I just love her. I wanted to tell her that. I wanted to sleep beside her every night for the rest of my life.

But, better not to jump the gun.

"Of course, Bella. I'll stay in here with you."

She broke out into a wide smile of relief then, and let out a big sigh. I guessed she had been pretty nervous about asking me that and was thankful I agreed. I couldn't help but smile back at her. She was contagious.

With that, she scooted back on the bed and lifted the covers from under the pillows and slid in between them. And that sight took me off guard for a moment. She just looked so… perfect there. Like she had been made to sleep in my bed.

It had been a long, long time since I had slept in the same bed with anyone. Usually, I took up the whole middle of it, unhappy to think about the other half being empty if I had favored one side as my own. But spending the night with Bella, on the same level and in the same bed, was going to be amazing. And I had thought things couldn't get any better than they had last night, falling asleep holding her hand.

I thought that maybe she would want her space as she slept, and reluctantly stayed close to the edge of the mattress on the side I had crawled into. Bella laid flat on her back and stared at the ceiling, and I knew she was working up the nerve to talk to me.

I reached my hand across and touched the back of hers, slowly, reassuringly. She seemed to relax by the touch.

I decided I should have turned out the light while I was up, but maybe the thought of sharing a bed with Bella had clouded my reasoning for the moment. I jumped out of bed and turned on the bedside lamp, then shut off the ceiling fan light by the wall switch, and climbed back under the covers.

Bella rolled over onto her side to face me, so I mimicked her, while still keeping a small, cautious distance between us. I wanted her to feel comfortable about sharing a bed with me, not worried that I might try to cop a feel whenever I could get the chance. Even though a large part of me wanted to just pull her close and hold her, I needed to wait for her cue.

When Bella began speaking, it was in a hushed, worried voice. She wasn't just nervous. She was scared.

"I feel I owe you this, Edward. We both expressed our… desire, tonight, to see what kind of a relationship could develop for us. And I want that, more than anything, more than anything I've wanted in a long time. Maybe more than anything I've ever wanted. But I need to caution you. I need to tell you some things so that you know what you're getting into. You need to have all the facts, so that you can make an educated decision.

"I want to be with you. But I also know what you entering into a relationship with me means and you don't. And so, that's why I've decided to tell you all of this. I'm not trying to scare you. I wish I didn't have to tell you any of this, I wish none of it had happened. But it did, and it made me who I am today. And I owe it to you to tell you this so that… if you decide you don't want to be with me, you can tell me so. Now. Not later, once we've already gone too far. Not after we've fallen in love with each other. We can end it now and both try to move on."

She paused, and I could see the fear in her eyes. I was scared now too, truly frightened, and it hurt me to see her in pain. I wanted to know how to comfort her. I wanted to take away this pain from her and have her never experience it again. And I was terrified of her talking about ending our relationship, as short as it might be, I was in it. I had always loved Bella and I was diving head first into being with her. I knew I would always love her, no matter what. The thought of not being with her filled me with pain. I needed to erase this ridiculous concept of me not wanting to be with her out of her head!

"Bella, you don't owe me any—" I began. I was silenced by Bella's fingers on my lips.

"Please, Edward, just hear me out. I need to do this."

I wrapped my hand around her palm and kissed her fingers, then brought her hand to my chest and held it there. I knew I looked sick right now, and my stomach literally was in knots. But whatever Bella needed to tell me was not going to be good, and I needed to be strong for her. I wanted her to know I was _here_.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. My hands were shaking and I could hear my heart beat in my ears. I nodded at Bella to continue.

"So… it all started my sophomore year of college. There was a guy that I had a class with and one day he invited me to his party. His name was James. He and his roommates were sort of known for throwing these big bashes. I went only because most everyone else on my floor was going too. So my roommate Angela and I went together, you know, playing the buddy system. She wasn't really into that sort of scene either, so we figured we'd stick together and keep an eye on one another.

"We only ended up staying a couple of hours, because James turned out to be such a creep. He followed us around the party the entire time, trying to get us to drink anything he handed to us. When I saw another group of guys that I knew from around campus and said hi to them, he threw a fit. He told me that since he invited me to his party, that I should basically be bending over backwards to give him the attention he deserves. It was a joke and I didn't want to deal with him or give him the wrong idea that I'd be interested in him. So Angela and I left.

"That was only the beginning of it all. James ended up following Angela and I around campus. It seemed like every time we'd stop somewhere or look at our surroundings, James was there. Whether it be the library, the café, or our dorm lobby. It was creepy, to the say the least. But that's the weird thing – he was just _there_. He wouldn't talk to us or even acknowledge us – and only the fact that Angela and I discussed this with each other led us to believe he was following us. It went from us never having seen much of him around to him always being where we were.

"Halfway through the second semester, I was assigned a group project with one of his roommates. We decided to get together at his place for a study group since it was bigger than anyone else's room. While I was there, I had gotten up to use the restroom, and passed by an open bedroom door in the hallway. Imagine my surprise when I saw pictures of me posted all over the far wall of the room."

By this time Bella's voice had become shaky and she sounded on the verge of tears. I continued rubbing her hand, hoping she would find the gesture soothing and sense my encouragement for her to continue.

"I looked around the room from the doorway, and since it was empty I went inside. I saw plaques and trophies along the wall with James' name on them, so I knew it was his room. When I got closer to the far wall, I could see the pictures better. There were a ton of them. Of me walking across campus, sitting in classes – and not just the class I had with him, Edward. There was a picture of the door to our dorm room and pictures of Angela and me at the cafeteria. Some of the pictures had Angela in them, but they were definitely focused on me. And then I saw a piece of paper with my class schedule and phone number on it, and I knew he'd been stalking me. I could barely pull myself together to go back out into the living room and gather up my stuff and leave, I was so scared. I couldn't believe he'd been following me for so long.

"When I got back to my room, Angela wasn't there. So I called her and asked if she could come home right away. When she arrived I told her everything, and she listened silently. When I was finished, she told me we needed to call the police. I knew that was the right thing to do, but I was scared of James. I was scared of what he might say or do. The night we were at his party, he showed signs of… possibly being violent. That's the only way I can think of phrase it. He was so upset when I talked to those other people I knew. I could only imagine how he would react to me calling the police on him.

"So I called campus security, who came to our room and took a statement from me. They told me they were going to call the local police and complete an investigation and that they would keep me posted. Angela felt relieved that the madness would soon come to an end. She thought that by us calling the police that James would quit following us and the uneasiness we had both been feeling would go away. I wasn't as… certain that everything would just end like that. I had a really bad feeling about James and his ways. Something just didn't sit right with me about him… I guess you could call it intuition.

"So I tried to go back to the way things used to be and I waited for word from the police on the status of the case. I buried myself in my studies and my writing. Of course, wouldn't you know it, I caught a nasty cold that had been going around a few weeks later. That was really frustrating, because I had a big paper due, and it was worth a lot of my grade. So I immersed myself in that and tried to get it done so that I could have the weekend to rest and get better from my cold. I've never really been one for taking many medicines--I always seem to be very sensitive to them--so I didn't know much about the ones at the drugstore when I went to pick some up. All I knew was that I needed to _sleep_! My congestion had kept me up most of every night. So I picked up some Nyquil and took some that night.

"Angela was staying at her boyfriend's room, so I was happy that I'd have a whole night without interruptions to sleep in my drug-induced haze. I was looking forward to hopefully feeling a lot better in the morning and shaking that cold. I remember it was cold that night… I put on sweats, and added another blanket to my bed… I turned on a movie and snuggled in, waiting for sleep to find me…"

Bella's voice had become a whisper at this point. Her eyes were unfocused and staring off into the distance, over my shoulder. I knew she was reliving the memories at that point, remembering her life as it was at that point in time. I also knew, we were probably getting close to the climax of the story, so I reminded myself to stay calm and not let my emotions get the best of me.

She didn't speak for awhile longer, and when she did, her voice was angry.

"Edward… I woke up the next morning, and I felt… heavy. Like something was suffocating me. And I opened my eyes and he was on top of me!" Bella's voice broke then, and she broke down into sobs. I scooted closer to her in the bed and wrapped my arms tightly around her as she buried her face into my chest. My jaw was clenched, my eyes shut tight. I was seething with rage. I wanted him dead. Whoever this James person was, I hoped he rotted in hell for what he did to my Bella!

"Edward, he… he raped me. I tried to struggle with him, but it was almost over anyway. I felt so heavy, so sleepy still… I realized the Nyquil had made me feel that way. I could have been pushing on a rock for God's sake, he wouldn't budge! And when he was done, he didn't even look at me. He just stood up and pulled his pants up and turned around and left. He didn't say anything to me."

Bella's tears had stopped now, and she had regained her composure a little. But her voice was still raw, with hurt, and anger.

"And… you're going to think I'm crazy now, Edward. But… I just… wanted to forget it happened at all. I wanted to go on with my life and forget anything had ever happened. It honestly didn't feel like it was that traumatizing of an experience. I mean, most of what had happened had occurred when I was still asleep. I hadn't felt a thing until he was completely on top of me and I couldn't breathe right.

"So, I just tried to move on. I was pissed that he had taken my… well, virginity. I hadn't ever been with a boy like that before, Edward. It sucked that had been taken from me without my consent. But in the meantime, I just wanted to forget all about it.

"So I went right back to burying myself in my work and pretending everything was fine. I didn't tell anybody about it. And I really didn't see James that often anymore either. I figured he wouldn't want to show his face around out of fear that I would talk.

"I thought I was doing a good job at moving on. I thought I was putting it behind me. But then I realized I couldn't write anymore. I would stare at my laptop for hours, with a blank doc page open, and I couldn't think of a single thing to write. The one thing that had brought me comfort, that had brought me joy, was gone. I wasn't inspired anymore. And then… I became sick again.

"It wasn't a cold this time. I thought it was the flu. I couldn't keep anything down, and all of the medicines Angela brought for me didn't do any good. I ate nothing but crackers for two straight weeks. And I was losing weight – rapidly. Angela noticed and one day she forced me onto her bathroom scale, and I was shocked to see I weighed 96 pounds. I hadn't realized I had been that sick. She urged me to go to a doctor.

"But I didn't go. I couldn't. Maybe I realized subconsciously what was going on with me, and I just didn't want to face the truth.

"Eventually, I knew I needed to find out. So I went across town to a different drugstore, one I hadn't been to before. I didn't want to chance running into anyone I knew. And I bought three pregnancy tests."

"Bella," I interrupted. "How long has passed by this point since he attacked you? Had you not had your period?"

I felt bad for speaking about such personal female things with her, but I was a doctor after all, and I knew what happened to a female's body.

"It had been about three months at this point. I hadn't even been paying attention to that, Edward. I was like a shell of my former self. Like I said, I thought I was doing a good job and surviving – and that's exactly what I was doing. I was just moving from day to day, I wasn't living. There's a big difference between living and surviving.

"I waited until I knew Angela would be gone for several hours. I wanted privacy to take the tests. If they were positive, I wanted to freak out in private. It was no one else's problem but my own.

"They were all positive," Bella whispered. "I had overheard a girl in the restroom at school once telling her friend that when you take a pregnancy test, to take a few, just in case you get a false positive. So that's why I bought three. And the results just came up so quickly, Edward! As soon as I had set each one on the counter, it had two lines! I was as pregnant as could be, with a rapist's child. I was depressed, and alone, and frightened, and… and I felt dirty. For the first time since the rape, I felt disgusting. I think maybe it had been because I was realizing he had left a part of himself in me. And I hated him so badly that I wanted him dead. All of the emotions I had been holding at bay came flooding through. I started hitting and punching and kicking and screaming. I'm sure I scared Angela pretty badly, but I didn't even notice she had walked in the door until her arms were around me."

Bella was crying softly, and I still held her to my chest, though not as tight as before. She still wouldn't look at me, and this pained me, but I wanted her to be able to get it all out. My own emotions were not important right now.

I pressed my lips softly to her forehead, and ran them up to her hair, placing light kisses anywhere I could reach. I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain and suffering my poor Bella had been through. How alone she had felt…how depressed she was and she hadn't even realized it. She had tried to block the traumatizing event as best as she could, and blocked it well enough that she hadn't grasped that she was pregnant. My heart hurt for her and all of the pain she had lived through. But, it just made me love her more. She was good and kind and caring, and she had been through hell and back. But she was still here, fighting to live her life past all of the evil, and she was comfortable enough to tell me about her troubled past. I vowed to make her see that she could trust me with anything, and that I would care for her and be there for her as much as she would allow me.

The thought of my Bella being pregnant with a child distracted me for a moment, and, briefly, I could imagine her belly, swollen and round, her face glowing with love and excitement. She would look beautiful, even more so than she was now. And then I remembered that Bella had been pregnant, with a monster's child, and anger seared through me again.

"Throughout this time, I had pretty much avoided dealing with life, as you can imagine. I hadn't talked to Charlie in over a month. He called regularly and left messages and I didn't call him back. I'm sure he wondered what was wrong with me. So once I had taken the pregnancy tests and delivered my outburst, Angela told me I needed to go home. And she was right, I did need to go home. I needed to get away from campus and try to figure out what to do. I was pregnant with a baby that wasn't just going to go away. I had some tough choices to make.

"So I went home, and told Charlie everything. He was livid. He's always had this, you know, tough exterior about him, but I knew deep down, I had broken his heart.

"He called the Seattle PD and spoke to them to corroborate stories. He told them about the rape and they sent a detective up here to Forks to take a statement from me. I told the detective that I was pregnant as a result of the rape and he asked what I planned to do. And I told him that I honestly hadn't decided. That's when he told me that I needed to decide quickly, because most doctors wouldn't perform an abortion when a woman is more than four months pregnant. That date was quickly approaching.

"Charlie told me that no matter what, I needed to see a doctor, so I made an appointment with Dr. Snow at the hospital. I knew he was an OB/GYN and that he could help me make the decision.

"And… Edward… I decided not to keep the baby. It was such a hard thing to decide, Edward, you have no idea… I know there are so many people out there who are against abortions, and I'm one of them! But I didn't think I could handle being a single mother, to a child that was a product of rape. And I didn't think I could bear to give it up for adoption, and then find myself on a talk show in 20 years with the child trying to find its birth parents. Could you imagine, Edward? 'Oh hi mom, can you tell me where to find my dad?' 'Sorry son, but you were only born because mommy was raped'! I mean, seriously, what kid deserves that? I knew I could never provide a happy, fully functioning life for a child like this. Though I may have grown to love him, I couldn't take the chance that would come to me after he was born. No child deserves to be unloved. So I decided on the abortion. And _that_ – was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It was easier being raped. It was easier living through the depression and wading through those months of turmoil. But that decision was the hardest."

Bella stopped once more, and was quietly sobbing again. I could think of nothing to say. I just held onto her tightly and rubbed her back and shoulders, kissing the top of her head. My poor, sweet Bella. No one deserves what she has been through.

Then, a fragment of our conversation wound through my head. She had mentioned "son" several times. Had she known the child was a boy? Was that even possible?

"Bella," I asked softly. "How did you know he was a boy?"

She looked up at me then, with a sort of sheepish look on her face.

"I waited, Edward. I waited until the last possible second to have the abortion. I didn't want to decide prematurely and then end up regretting my decision. When I first went to see him, Dr. Snow ran some tests and had to do an ultrasound. Since I was farther along than most women are when they have abortions, he was able to tell I was carrying a boy."

Her sobs became harder again, rougher, raw with her emotion. She buried herself once more into my chest as I held her closely.

I tried to absorb all of this information. That was not an easy thing to do. There were so many emotions coursing through me, it was hard to determine which one deserved priority. I was filled with hate and anger and rage and sadness. I wanted to find this James person and tear him limb from limb for doing this to my Bella. I was filled with sadness over what she had gone through, and I wanted to take away her pain and have her never experience pain again. I would sell my soul if I could so that Bella would not hurt over this even one second more of her life.

Once she was calmer, I began to speak to her.

"Bella… I'm so, so very sorry. I wish you had never had to go through this. I wish you had never known this pain or had to make a decision of that type. And I'm sure you're concerned with my reaction to this information right now, and I want to tell you, I think you made a good decision. You made the right one for you, and I could never look down upon anyone for that. Is that what you were afraid of? Did you think I wouldn't agree with your decision and find it unethical? Bella, I could never think that," I told her. She began crying again.

"Bella, had I been in your situation, I probably would have made the same decision. All of the reasons you cited, would have ran through my head too. I am so proud of you Bella. I know that might sound strange, but you are such a strong person for getting through all of this and rising above. Don't you believe me, Bella?"

I tried to tilt her head up so that she would look at me, but she wouldn't. She just kept crying, and then began shaking her head. I became even more worried when she began hyperventilating.

"That! That—wasn't the worst thing Edward! I—hahhh! There was a problem. There were… complications! I—oh god! Ahhhhhh….I may not be able to… to have any more children, Edward!"

Whatever Bella had been clinging to at that point, dropped from her being as she let the sobs completely overwhelm her. I felt completely helpless as I watched her fall to pieces. I heard sounds come from her that I had never heard escape a human being before. I kept rocking her, holding her, letting her get it all out, until she was ready to speak again. It was a moment before I realized that I was crying, too.

"You see, Edward?" Bella asked, as she looked at me again. "That's the problem! I really don't care what you think about me having an abortion – I knew it was the right thing for me, the right thing for the situation. But if we… fell in love… if we… got married… don't you see? We may not be able to have children! I don't even know if you want children, but I do. I have always wanted children, just under the right circumstances. And with a mother and father to raise them, and love them and care for them. Not for them to grow up knowing they were the product of the attack of a mad man!

"And if you want children, with me – I can't give them to you! I've never told anyone about this. Only Charlie and a few of my close friends know. I've never talked about this with a guy that I've dated. But with you, Edward, everything is different. I see a future with you. And I couldn't go one single minute longer without you knowing the truth about me, because it's not fair to you for me to keep you in this. If you can't stand the thought of not having children, then leave me now. Don't let us go any farther, because, Edward, I think it would be so easy to fall in love with you. And it's just going to hurt so much worse if we--"

I silenced her babbling with a kiss. It wasn't a sweet and gentle kiss like the ones we had shared earlier, this kiss had a sense of desperation--it was charged with ferocity. I couldn't stand to see her tearing herself up over this. As long as I could have her, I would be a happy man. I needed to tell her that.

"Bella, oh Bella. My Bella. As long as I could have you with me, I would be the happiest man on earth. If we decided we wanted to add to our family down the road, then we could investigate other options. Bella, you are not broken, and you are not unworthy of being loved. I want you to know that. I want you to know that you deserve all of the happiness in the world. You're owed it. And I want to be the one to give you that. I want to make you happy for the rest of my life. It doesn't matter…. it doesn't matter…" her lips were on mine again as I pledged my devotion to her. And the words still weren't enough. I wasn't sure I could ever articulate to her what she truly meant to me.

"Edward," she sighed as she kissed me again, and again.

I held her close to me, tightly. I never wanted to let her go. I wanted to protect her from the world and keep her always.

"Thank you," she whispered, softly, and I could tell the tears and sobs were beginning to evade her.

I rolled over and lay onto my back, and pulled her to me so that she was resting on my chest. Her arms wound tightly around me and I ran my hands through her hair.

"Sleep, my love," I whispered, as I kissed her damp eyelids.

**As you can imagine, this chapter was very, very difficult to write. Diving into the emotions of both Bella and Edward was very hard to do. I hope I've captured the severity of their emotions and the situation all without offending anyone who has read this. It's a delicate, delicate story and I know might upset some people.**


	9. Chapter 9

I woke the next morning from a sound sleep, the best night of sleep I'd had in a long time. It was no surprise to me. I knew holding the angel in my arms would provide me with a serenity I hadn't felt before.

When I woke, Bella was still sleeping. I moved quietly out of bed so as not to disturb her. I figured I'd start some coffee and breakfast and then take things from there.

I started a pot of coffee, then pulled on my sneakers and brushed my teeth before walking down my drive to get the paper. When I came back in, I gathered all the ingredients to make pancakes and bacon and got to work.

I had turned on the small radio I kept in the kitchen and was singing along to a Three Doors Down song when I heard Bella behind me. I felt ashamed to admit that I was nervous to face her. Last night, all the walls had come down and she had divulged her most intimate secrets to me. I felt honored that she felt she could trust me with this information, and also scared that maybe she would feel that she had revealed too much. I didn't want her to feel awkward around me because of what I now knew.

I didn't have to wait long to see her reactions this morning, because she crossed the kitchen quickly and wrapped her arms around my waist, burying her head in my shoulders. I turned around in her arms and hugged her back.

She nuzzled me further once I was facing her. "Mmm, Edward…" she breathed, her eyes closed.

"Good morning, love," I told her, placing a kiss on her forehead and then bending down to take her lips in mine.

The kiss quickly escalated, and I couldn't help but hold her too me tightly and lift her up slightly. Before I knew what was happening, I had set her on the countertop and her legs were wrapped around my waist. She bent back slightly and I moved my lips down to her jaw, then her neck, her collarbone. The sounds coming out of her lips edged me further and she wove her fingers through my hair, which turned me on further.

A small part of me knew that I should stop, that I was taking this too far.

But mostly, she just felt so good, I wasn't sure if I could.

Eventually, Bella pulled back slightly to look at me, and I froze, staring back at her. Her eyes were alight with something I hadn't noticed before… it almost looked like lust. I leaned into her once more and kissed her softly, before grinning like the idiot I am and embracing her in a hug.

"Oh, Bella. You have no idea what you do to me," I told her. It came out sounding like a groan.

"I might have an idea, Cullen," she said, using my surname jokingly.

I couldn't help but smirk at that. Since all seemed to be lighthearted between us, I turned to pour Bella a cup of coffee and then got orange juice out of the fridge and glasses out of the cupboard.

Bella helped herself to cream and sugar and then picked up the tongs and turned the bacon for me while I flipped the pancakes. She looked over at me and smiled, and I grinned from ear to ear back.

We fell comfortably into finishing breakfast, refilling our coffees and setting the table. When we sat down to eat, I took the newspaper out of its plastic sleeve and offered it to her first. She smiled at the gesture, and pulled out the Lifestyles and Money section and handed it back to me.

"Mmm, great pancakes, Edward," she told me, and I could tell she meant it. Her eyes closed with each bite she took and she truly looked like she was in heaven.

At some point, I noticed I wasn't eating that quickly and I wasn't looking at the paper, I was paying attention to her. I was concerned about her. I wondered if she was okay after her emotional ordeal last night. While I tried to think of a tactful way of asking if she was alright, I reached across the table and placed my hand over hers.

She stopped eating abruptly, and put her knife and fork down. Once she was finished chewing, she looked up at me and then took a sip of her coffee before speaking.

"I'm fine, Edward. Better than fine, actually. It felt so good to get all of that off my chest last night. Thank you so much for listening," she said sincerely.

"It was my pleasure Bella. I'm so glad you felt comfortable enough to share all of that with me. And if you ever need to talk again, you know I'm here."

"I do. And I couldn't be happier about that. I feel so comfortable with you. But, there's one other part I didn't tell you last night that I thought you should know. It's not _that_ big of a deal, but some people are weirded out by it. Well after everything calmed down after that summer and I got back to school, I decided I should take some self defense classes. Just so that I could protect myself in the event of ever being attacked again. So I know how to incapacitate an attacker now. I carry a mace. And… I, um… own a gun."

I was shocked to hear of my Bella owning a weapon, but under the circumstances, I couldn't blame her.

"A gun? And it's registered and you know how to fire it and everything, or did you buy it off the streets?" I could help but tease her.

"Of course, Edward! That's all taken care of. And I know how to work it well; I still hit up the firing range about once a month or so. Can't let myself get rusty now," she said with a sly smile.

"I'm definitely glad to hear you are well equipped to defend yourself. That makes me feel better. I've never known anyone that has owned a gun."

"It's not something a lot of people talk about. And people seem to have such varied opinions on them. That's why I figured I'd just get it out in the open in case you're ever at my apartment in the city and wonder what the "big looking earmuffs" are for."

"So, you weren't worried about what I'd think of you owning a gun?"

"Not really. You're entitled to your opinions. Just like whatever your opinion is on… abortions… it doesn't change the fact that I had one. I can't go back and change that. And I'm not going to get rid of my gun, even if you didn't like it."

I nodded thoughtfully. I was glad that Bella wasn't so worried about my opinions or reactions that she would be hesitant to tell me something. She was right, after all. The abortion had been the right thing for her. I've never understood how some people can condone abortions as a form of birth control, but in her situation, it was hardly her choice or mistake to become pregnant. And I didn't have large opinions on guns, either way. I didn't know much about them and had never had a use for one. But I could see why Bella would want one, and for some reason, I was glad she did.

We finished breakfast and cleaned up, then talked about what we should do that day. Bella wanted to get cleaned up and change her clothes, so I changed into jeans and hiking boots and then drove her home, where we were met with Charlie, who was engrossed in a football game. I joined him on the couch while Bella showered and changed and then we set out for our hike.

The rest of the day went by too quickly in my opinion, and all of a sudden it was 7pm and I was paying our bill from dinner at the local diner. I drove slowly towards her house, trying to prolong whatever time I had left with her. I knew that Bella didn't have a definite departure date to head back to Seattle, and I had no right to ask her to stay in town. But I wanted to spend every spare moment I could with her, and I was no longer afraid to let her know that.

Bella invited me for dinner at her and Charlie's for Monday night, and I eagerly accepted. I told her what time I got off and she said I could come over whenever. I was sad to see her go, sad to go home alone, but I had to work tomorrow, and Bella informed me she had some editing she needed to do as well to send to her publisher. So I pulled up in front of the Swan residence and walked her to the door, pulling her in for a deep and long goodnight kiss, and when I thought she was done and would want to head inside, she threw her arms around my neck and pulled my face to hers once more.

I couldn't get enough of her. Bella was like my drug. She was exactly my brand of heroin.

The next morning, I showered quickly and dressed for work. Mondays were always a little crazy at the clinic, because of people getting into mishaps over the weekends. My poor receptionist, Jessica, was usually quite busy taking all of the calls and trying to fit everyone in. I was hoping for everything to run smooth and straight today, because when I had some free time, I had a little personal work to do, and I wanted ample time to do it.

Thankfully, we hit a lull around 12:30, and didn't have anymore patients scheduled until 2:00, so I told Jessica to put the sign on the door that we'd return at 1:45 and for her and I to both take a much needed lunch break. I grabbed an egg salad sandwich and a bag of chips from the cafeteria and made my way to the records department.

Forks Community Hospital is on the smaller side, and we don't receive a lot of the funding that larger hospitals do. We haven't exactly evolved into the 21st century, so not a whole lot of our work is done electronically yet. Our records department was just that, a huge room filled with patient files, separated by doctor, alphabetized by patient. Patient files older than 15 years were stored somewhere off site, but the file I needed should be here.

I quickly found Dr. Snow's patient files and skimmed the folders until I found the S segment. The very last folder in that row stood out to me: _Swan, Isabella M._

I took a deep breath. I knew what I was setting myself up for finding out information that would sadden me. I didn't want to know how badly the procedure had gone. I wanted to believe that Bella was as healthy as could be; but I knew that was not the case.

Every doctor is to take certain gynecology classes in med school, and I knew enough to be able to see for myself just what types of complications Bella had had from her procedure. I opened the folder and began leafing through the official records as well as Dr. Snow's personal case notes. He was an older doctor and was very thorough, and always inserted a blank piece of paper into his patient files for his own notes and observations.

Bella's file from Dr. Snow wasn't large. Towards the back of the folder, a smaller piece of paper tucked under all the others caught my eye and I pulled it out. It was Bella's ultrasound.

Ice went through my body as I stared at the black and white profile view of Bella's unborn child. My mostly untrained eye also picked up that it had been a boy.

I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness. This might have been the only child that my beautiful Bella, with such a big heart, would have beared. She deserved all the babies in the world, and that might never happen again for her.

I shook my head quickly and tucked the ultrasound back away and leafed through the record and notes. Certain words and phrases jumped off of the page towards me, and they were all I could concentrate on…._pelvic inflammatory disease_…_cervical incompetence_…_scarring of the uterus_.

Bella's complications were probably unpleasant for her at the time, on top of having to deal with everything else, and while they can lead to sterility or difficulty conceiving, that wasn't definite. Bella still had a real probability of having a healthy, normal pregnancy someday.

Reading this made me feel better. At least now I knew from a medical standpoint what factors plagued Bella. She still had a fighting chance of being a mother someday.

I pondered whether to let her know that I had looked at her record or not. For now, I just decided to let it be. If our relationship continued to progress, as I hoped it would, then this could be something we could deal with later, after we were married and ready to start a family.

Listen to me. Assuming we were going to get married. But I knew with everything inside of me that I wanted to be with Bella and only Bella for the rest of my life, and I would do anything to make that happen. I would be with her as long as she wanted me.

The rest of the week passed by in a blur. Bella and I spent nearly every waking moment together. We ate dinner together every night, whether at her and Charlie's house, my house, or out. We tried to find out every single thing we could about one another, and continued telling stories of the past eleven years. Charlie seemed amused by our reunions and looked at his daughter with a smile and a gleam in his eyes. I hoped that he was seeing that she was happy with me, and I hoped that he approved of our relationship.

As time went on, Bella continued to stay over at my place a few times a week, and on those nights, I slept wonderfully. While she began packing a small overnight bag when she'd come over, she preferred to sleep in my clothes, and I couldn't possibly say no to that.

Bella and I drove down to Seattle one weekend, where she introduced me to a few of her friends and showed me her apartment. We hung out there for awhile for her to catch up on her mail and messages and to grab some additional clothes, but Bella insisted on coming back up to Forks. I thought that she might want to stay home and relax, if even for a few days, but she would hear none of it. She told me that she wanted nothing more than to be where "the two men in her life" were. I couldn't help but grin ear to ear at that remark.

I took Bella to see Alice and Jasper, and Emmett and Rosalie one Saturday, and we all had a great time visiting with one another, and to be honest, drinking with one another. That pixie Alice seemingly knew every drinking game known to man, and made sure we tried out a few of them. It had been a long while since I'd had tequila, and I was thankful it wasn't my weekend to be on call at the hospital. At the end of the night, all four of them embraced Bella for big hugs, and she had a wide smile on her face. I could see Bella falling easily into my group of friends and us all making happy memories together.

The sexual tension between us continued to increase, as well. I wanted Bella, badly, more than I'd ever wanted another woman. Lust and attraction had been the forefront of my "emotions" when I had been with other women – but never had I felt the intensity of the love and devotion that I felt for Bella. Either I had not allowed myself to feel it for anyone else, or I had not wanted to: no matter, because Bella and I were together now, and I didn't have to question my past actions or feelings anymore. But, I wanted to wait until Bella was ready. I was a gentleman after all.

Throughout all of this, I pondered when the right time would be to tell Bella that I loved her. I had known it since the eleventh grade, after all, but now Bella and I were together. I had few pointers from my past dating experiences to know when the "right" time was to tell someone you were in love with them without scaring them off because it's too soon. So I kept thinking of this conundrum, and in the meantime, enjoyed as much time as possible with Bella.

Sometime in the fourth week or so of us dating, Bella and I were out to dinner on a Friday night, at the same restaurant where we had reunited. The weeks had flown by since we'd begun seeing each other, but at the same time, it felt so right and comfortable, that I felt like we'd been together for years. We had finished dinner and had ordered coffee and a Blondie brownie a la mode to share when Bella put her cup down and reached across the table for my hand.

"Edward, there's something I want to talk to you about. And I don't know if I'm going about this the right way, since I don't have much experience to work off of. But you know what? I don't care. There's something I've realized and I want to share it with you." She bit her lip then, and looked down at the table. I wanted her to look back at me, so that I could stare into her wide brown eyes and try to figure out what was going through her mind. Her eyes snapped back up to mine and she took a deep breath, then smiled.

"Edward, I've fallen in love with you. I love you, Edward."

It took me about a half a second to allow those beautiful words to jump around my brain, and then I jumped up from the table and threw my arms around her, holding her close.

"Bella, I love you. I've always loved you. I am so very, very in love with you, too," I whispered in her ear.

She pulled back a little to look me in the eye, and the look on her face knocked me breathless. She exuded happiness; it oozed from every pore on her porcelain skin and I could feel the electricity flowing between us. Her warm smile melted my heart, and I couldn't throw my credit card down on the table fast enough. I was taking Bella home.


	10. Chapter 10

**Here it is everyone, our first lemon!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

The ride home was excruciating. I felt like I couldn't get home fast enough. I held Bella's hand the whole way there, sneaking glances at her whenever I could peel my eyes away from the road. She stared at me the whole time, as if memorizing my features. I brought her hand up to my lips several times to kiss it, and once, she untwined her fingers from mine and began running her fingers over my face. I couldn't help but lean into her touch a little. She was just so warm and soft.

I nearly lost it when she leaned over the center console of the car and wrapped her arms around me while I was still driving. Bella's hands came around my shoulders and she leaned her face closer to mine, running her soft lips over my cheek, neck and ear. I unsuccessfully tried to stifle a groan and at the last red light before we would reach the drive to my house, I attacked her lips with mine.

A honk from the car behind us alerted me that we needed to get moving again, and so I reluctantly pulled away from Bella and sped the rest of the way home. When we pulled into the house, she practically jumped into my arms. I helped her wrap her legs around my waist and we stumbled into the bedroom together, kissing the whole way.

I couldn't get close to her fast enough. I nearly ripped her pretty blouse trying to unbutton it, and then ended up tearing my own shirt, too impatient to take it off properly. I set Bella down on the bed and her hands immediately moved to my belt. I kicked off my shoes and socks and stepped out of my pants and then leaned down over the bed, posed over her. She laid down and I took the opportunity to study her. She was magnificent. Her frilly black lace bra cupped her full breasts perfectly, and the skin of her entire abdomen was begging for me to touch it.

I looked back up into her eyes and she smiled at me, and I couldn't help grin widely back. I straddled her legs on the bed and unbuttoned her pants, sliding them down gently. Bella was fully exposed to me in her bra and matching lace panties. I briefly wondered if she wore such nice lingerie on a regular basis, or if she had known this would happen tonight.

I knelt back on the floor on my knees and took Bella's calves in my hands, kneading them gently and admiring their smoothness. I worked my way up her entire body, massaging her, appreciating her. I didn't think I could ever get enough of Bella's beautiful body. When I reached the top of her, she was panting.

"Edward, please. You're driving me crazy," she whispered.

"I'm going to take the time to enjoy this, Bella. I've waited far too long to worship you."

She moaned slightly, and I couldn't wait to find a way to make her do it again.

I kissed her, a desperate, passionate kiss. Quickly, I moved down to her jaw, then neck, and continued downward, caressing her arms and shoulders. Her hands moved into my hair and she began tugging and rubbing my scalp. It felt amazing.

I reached the tops of the swells of her breasts and placed gentle kisses on them, while wiggling my hands around to her back and undoing the bra's clasp. When she was revealed to me, I gasped. She was beautiful. Her round breasts peaked into tight, pink nipples that were fully erect… for me.

"Bella, you are more beautiful than I had imagined. My imagination had nothing on the real you," I told her.

I ran my nose up between the valley between her breasts before lightly licking a nipple and latching my mouth around it. She moaned loudly and arched her back into me. I smiled widely against her skin and continued my explorations.

I began to move downwards, licking small circles on her flat stomach, tickling her belly button, and when I reached her panties, her hands were already slid into the waistband against her hips and she was ready to pull them down.

"Patience, love. We'll get there," I whispered to her. I took her hands out of her panties and placed them up above her head, smirking at her eagerness.

"Edward," Bella moaned.

God, I loved the sound of her moaning my name.

I gently pulled her lace panties down and threw them across the room. Bella was laid out for me in all her gloriousness. I could see the glistening beads of moisture around her lips and felt a sudden sense of pride that she was aroused for _me_.

Could life get any better? I thought not.

I couldn't help spreading her legs tenderly and smelling her. She smelled slightly musky and sweet. I had to taste her.

I wrapped my arms around her knees and hoisted her legs up onto my shoulders and began kissing her inner thighs. When she began squirming, I helped hold her still with my arms. I refused to let her squirm away from my mouth tonight.

I took a long swoop of her core with my tongue, and she moaned. I used my fingertips to gently spread her lips and admired her smooth pink center. With my thumb, I gently lifted the skin above her clit and flicked it with my tongue.

"Edward!" Bella cried.

I teased her clit gently, alternating between my tongue and my thumb, and then reached lower to taste her core. She was warm and tight and I couldn't wait to feel how she felt around me as I made love to her for the first time.

Bella moved her hands back to my hair and as I continued sucking her, she began grinding her hips into my face. I loved every minute of it and decided to go a bit further. I wanted to ease into each step so that she'd feel comfortable and so that she'd enjoy the pleasure I was giving her.

I took a finger and pressed it inside of her. This must have surprised Bella, because she gasped and then moaned at the sensation. I took her sounds as a cue to continue and entered another finger into her, then began pumping slowly.

"Edward, please!" she cried.

"What, love? Tell me what you need," I moaned into her core.

"I… ugh… I want you to… harder!"

"As you wish!" I told her. I continued to pump in and out of her, steadily increasing the pace. She went wild when I turned my fingers and curled them upwards inside her, gently stroking her in a 'come hither' motion.

Bella was panting and moaning my name. I began to feel her clamping around my fingers, so I moved my mouth back to her center and sucked on her clit again. She stayed just this side of climaxing, however, so without really wondering whether or not she would like it, I licked my index finger and then gently rubbed it against her asshole.

Bella screamed my name so loud, I was glad I didn't have neighbors. I licked up every drop of her sweet juices, gently lapping at her as she came down from her high.

"Edward," she panted. "That was… uhhnn… I've never, ever come so hard!"

"Just wait until I'm inside of you, love. I can't wait to make love to you. I'm going to roll on top of you and thrust into you gentle and sweet at first. Then I'm going to turn us over so that you're on top of me and we're backed up against the headboard, so you can straddle me while I nip at your lovely breasts. And then if you'll let me, I'll lean you over the side of the bed and enter you from behind. Will you like that, Bella? Will you let me thrust into you all of those ways and make you scream my name?"

"Yes, Edward, yes! Please! I need you!"

I opened the nightstand and grabbed a condom and rolled it on. Bella watched me intently, eyeing my shaft and rubbing her thighs together. As soon as I was done, she sat up quickly and threw her arms around my neck, pulling my face to hers. We kissed deeply while I positioned myself in between her legs. She immediately wrapped her creamy legs around my bottom and lifted her hips towards mine.

I pulled away from kissing her momentarily and looked her straight in the eye.

"Isabella Swan…I love you. Stay watching me, Bella. I want to see you the entire time. Are you ready, love?"

She bit her lip gently and nodded, and I eased gently into her. I saw her eyes widening as I moved deeper and deeper inside of her. Once I had fully entered her, we both moaned at the sensation.

I fit perfectly inside of Bella. I had never felt anything like it. It was like she was made for me. I nearly teared up at the sensation.

We gently rocked together for a long time, enjoying the feeling of being joined so intimately. Our eyes were locked on each other the entire time and Bella began lifting her hips and meeting my gentle thrusts. We were breathing heavily and she just felt so good, I wasn't sure I could stop.

I eventually eased my hands down behind her shoulders and supported her back off of the bed. I brought her up towards me and cupped her bottom, never separating myself from her. I then leaned back on my knees and sat her on top of me, running my hands along her back, twisting them in her hair, and stroking the soft skin of her bottom.

Bella wrapped her hands in my hair and around my neck, and then plunged her tongue into my mouth without warning. I moaned at this, which caused her to moan back. I wrapped my arms tightly around her chest and held her tightly to me, never wanting to let go.

Bella found a rhythm on top of me, and I helped her along, our stomachs sliding against one another, her firm breasts grazing my chest. I couldn't get close enough to her. I kept pulling her closer and closer to me and she hugged me back as tightly as she could.

I realized I was moaning her name, and I didn't know how long I'd been doing so. I met her eyes again and she smiled at me, a content, lustful smile. I arched back away from her and sucked her breast into my mouth, gently suckling on her nipple. I felt her hands move rougher through my hair and smiled at the feeling.

I could feel Bella's inner walls clamping around me, and I knew she was close. I moved a hand down in between us and began rubbing gentle circles on her clit with my thumb. Her moans got louder, the clamping got harder. I was going to lose it, and soon.

"Edward, Edward! Oh god, please!"

"Come for me, Bella. Let me see how good you feel."

"Edward!" Bella cried once more, and she squeezed me so tightly that I couldn't thrust in for a moment. Her moans threw me over the edge, and I came hard, violently, my head falling onto her shoulder and my eyes clenched tight. Never, had I felt anything so wonderful.

We were both panting, riding out the waves of ecstasy, and I looked up at Bella and told her I loved her. She said that she loved me too and I leaned down on top of her, lowering us both to the bed. I rested my head on her chest and she played with my sweat soaked hair.

I ran my face over her soft, slightly sticky chest and gazed up at her face. She was so beautiful, and she was mine. I felt like I'd won the lottery. I wondered when would be too soon to propose to her.

She smiled down at me and I leaned up and kissed her sweetly, gently. I rolled slightly to the side and curled up to her. Bella eventually turned slightly and rolled her back into my chest, and I pulled her closer to me, kissing her neck, cheek, behind her ear.

"Hey, Edward?" Bella asked.

"Yes, love?"

"What about that whole 'entering me from behind' part? Did we skip over that for tonight?"

"You just felt so good on top of me, I couldn't bear to change things up."

"Mmm, that did feel good," she agreed.

"We'll just have to try the other way next time."

"Mmm, next time! I can't wait!" Bella groaned.

God, I love this woman.


	11. Chapter 11

The next nine months flew by so quickly. Looking back over those first months of our relationship, I'm always amazed at how swiftly Bella and I settled into a comfortable life, and also how the time flew.

About four months into our relationship, I asked Bella if she wanted to move in with me. It was almost silly for her to keep her apartment in Seattle. She was hardly there. Once she and I began dating, she was usually at my house. Bella readily agreed, and we had her apartment packed up in a weekend. Charlie was thrilled at the progression of our relationship and also the fact that Bella would be so close all the time.

I surprised Bella one evening after she had gotten home from Charlie's with a project that took me a month to complete, since I had to do it in short spurts when she wasn't around. The doors to the two spare bedrooms at my house always remained closed, because they were completely empty. I hadn't gotten around to purchasing a bedroom set for visiting guests and I didn't have any possessions to store in either of the rooms, so I turned one of them into a study for Bella. I wanted to give her a quiet place to do her writing and just have a place to call her own. When I showed it to her, her mouth hung open for a full minute before she turned and threw her arms around me. I couldn't have been happier that she loved it.

We fell into a comfortable routine. While I worked at the hospital, Bella spent her days writing or editing her work, or visiting Charlie. Alice and Bella grew close and she spent a lot of time at her and Jasper's house as well, visiting with the kids and giving constructive criticism on Alice's website design. I would arrive home most nights to a wonderfully home cooked meal, though I'd never expect that of her. That's just who Bella is. At night we'd read together in front of the fire or watch a little TV or a movie. Most nights though, we just couldn't wait to slip into our bedroom together. We couldn't get enough of each other.

And now, I was foolishly anxious as I debated between three ties to wear to Bella's book release party in Seattle. Her first novel was finally being released and there was a huge event being thrown by her publisher. We were going and spending the weekend in the city to enjoy ourselves. I was nervous for Bella and I wanted to look okay. Bella surprised me by being perfectly calm. I wondered if she truly wasn't nervous or if I was witnessing the calm before the storm.

The publisher had already sent three cartons of her finished novel to the house and I had been giving them out unashamedly to everyone I knew. I was one of the first, Bella said, to read the completed manuscript, and it really was genius. I had never read anything like it. My Bella sure has wonderful dreams and thoughts running through that mind of hers.

Another reason for my nervousness might have had something to do with the engagement ring in my pocket.

I had been waiting for the perfect moment to ask Bella to be my wife for months now, but the timing just never felt right. I wanted the experience to be memorable and exciting. I slipped my hand into my pocket and pulled the ring box out once more to look at it. I couldn't wait to give it to her. I certainly hoped she liked the ring itself, but I was more excited about all of the things that the ring represented. Bella was the love of my life, and I couldn't wait to ask her to spend forever with me. I could only hope she'd say yes.

I heard Bella emerge from the bathroom and quickly stuffed the box back in my pocket, where it had burnt a hole many times before. I had actually had the ring for about two months, and for the first week, I carried it with me everywhere, admiring it and dreaming up ways to ask Bella to marry me. After a few days of that, I felt a little silly carrying it everywhere when I hadn't figured out a creative way to ask her, so I'd hidden it behind some books in the living room bookcases and prayed she didn't find it.

But this weekend was going to be _the_ weekend. I knew when we arrived in Seattle, everything would be focused on the release. But after that, it was purely couple time, and I was going to do this – soon.

"Honey, are you almost ready? I'm just waiting for my flat iron to cool a bit before I put it in the suitcase and then I'm good to go," Bella said in her smooth voice that still drove me wild.

"Uh-huh. I'm ready. I chose the blue tie, you like?"

"Yeah, of course, Edward. I like all of your ties. I have to say, there are some really ugly ones out there and you don't own any of them. I'm so glad you're not one of those men that like wearing pink. That seems to be the 'in' thing these days. I just don't get it. I don't even like pink that much myself but men wearing these pink shirts and ties is just beyond me."

I chuckled at her little rant and moved behind her to wrap my arms around her waist. Most days, I still questioned my luck that Bella had come back into my life. I never wanted her to wonder how much I desired and loved her.

Bella sighed and leaned back into my embrace. Her bottom pushed right up against the ring box in my pocket, and a little surprised moan escaped her lips.

"Excited, are we? I wish we had time for a quickie too, but we'd better hit the road. How about when we check into the hotel? Christen the room right off the bat?" she said with a smirk.

I jerked back from her slightly, not wanting to give too much away that it was not my – ahem – _manhood_ that she had brushed against. I couldn't help but whimper at her words.

When Bella and I had first gotten together and she told me the story of her rape and pregnancy, I fleetingly wondered if she would be able to enjoy a healthy sex life. Not knowing personally how traumatizing that experience could have been for her, I could only imagine what possible memories having sex might have for her. Thankfully, she seemed to enjoy it as well as anyone. And I couldn't get enough of her, either. I could probably count on my two hands the number of days we hadn't made love, and they were all due to colds, overnight separations, or feminine cycles.

I didn't know what a "normal" sex life consisted of, but I really didn't care. I'd have sex with Bella every day for the rest of my life if she'd let me.

I realized I still needed to answer her before she became suspicious, so I simply nuzzled her neck and placed light kisses up and down her throat. That was answer enough for her.

We finished packing up and hit the road. The whole way there we listened to our favorite CD's and held hands. Life couldn't get much better than that.

The party went by quickly and in a blur. Bella gave a wonderful speech thanking her publisher, agent, friends, family, and me. I felt honored to be included and was beaming with pride at her successes.

Before I knew it we were back at the hotel and ordering champagne from room service. I gave the pretense that it was a 'night of celebrations' and Bella said that she'd like to start out the rest of the night by taking a hot bubble bath.

_Perfect_, I thought. That gave me time to get everything set up.

Quickly and quietly, I began setting up the room with the props I'd brought. I sprinkled the rose petals around the room, concentrating on the bed and around it, and then lit the candles I'd strategically placed around the room. The wait staff rang with the champagne and I placed that in its ice bucket near the bed.

Bella emerged from the bathroom in nothing but a towel. She looked like a goddess with her hair pinned up into a bun on her head, wavy tendrils flowing softly around her face. Her skin was pink and moist, and I wanted to touch and taste every inch of it.

"Edward, what's all this?" She said in a delighted and surprised tone.

"Come here, Bella. I want to talk to you."

She immediately came and sat next to me on the bed. I didn't have a speech rehearsed. I wanted it to flow straight from the heart.

I angled myself towards her and she turned towards me as well. I took both her hands in mine and she began tracing circles on my hands with her thumbs. I looked her straight in the eye, and suddenly, I knew exactly what to say.

I slipped quickly off of the bed and knelt in front of her, and began speaking.

"Bella, these past nine months have been the best of my life. You have made me a complete person, by being yourself, by being with me. I have always and will always want to be with only you. Will you allow me to show you what you mean to me for the rest of our lives? Will you be my wife?"

The emotions coursing through me had overwhelmed me, and I was slightly choked up by the time I'd finished speaking. Bella was smiling and tears had gathered in the corners of her eyes, which were wide open and focused on only me.

Bella couldn't speak. She simply kissed me.

The kiss intensified and distracted me before I realized I hadn't gotten an answer. I laughed and pulled back slightly.

"Is that a yes?" I laughed.

"Yes, Edward, yes," she whispered. "I will be your wife. I want you to be my husband. I love you, I love you!"

I smiled a smile that could have snapped my face in two. I kissed her again and hugged her tightly.

"I love you, Bella. So much. I will spend forever showing you how much I love you."

I pulled back again to grab the ring where I had hidden it on the floor beneath the bed curtain, but Bella pulled me back to her, quite forcefully. I smiled against her lips and she kissed me, passionately, deeply. I groaned and pulled her on top of me, then lay back on the bed. Bella reached to her front and unwrapped the towel where it hugged between her full breasts. The towel flapped out behind her and I took it and tossed it on the floor.

"Bella, your ring. I want to show it to you!" I groaned against her neck as she assaulted me with kisses.

I don't know if Bella even heard me. We became so absorbed in each other that the ring was soon forgotten.

I ran my hands up and down her still damp back as we continued kissing, before I reached her backside and supported her as I rolled us over. I kissed down her neck to the valley between her breasts. I ran my hands down her sides and stomach before curving around her hips and down her soft, silky legs. I would never get tired of worshiping this beautiful woman.

Bella ran her warm hands on my back and shoulders as I kissed back up her stomach and suckled on her breasts. She tugged at the hem of my shirt and so I helped her take it off. I quickly unfastened my pants and slid those down along with my boxers.

I landed back on Bella and we both moaned at the contact of our nakedness. I put my hands on her shoulders and slid them down her arms until I found her hands. I twined my fingers with hers and positioned myself at her entrance.

She nodded at me slightly and I knew I had her permission. I pushed forward slowly and steadily, wanting to allow her ample time to adjust. I felt her hips buck up against mine and withdrew. She angled her hips upwards and on my next thrust I knew I hit her G-spot based on her reaction.

We had become so attuned to each other's bodies that we each knew how to pleasure one another so completely.

We made love all night long, stopping only to hold one another or take a short break to change positions. I spooned behind Bella and caressed her breasts and held her tightly to me as I entered her from behind. Bella had me sit up slightly and lean against the headboard and then she straddled me as we hugged each other close. By four am we found ourselves back in the bathtub sipping our champagne.

"Bella, love… I never got to show you your ring," I murmured as I rubbed my hands along her legs as I sat behind her in the tub.

"I will see it Edward. And I'm sure it's beautiful. But it's the meaning behind it all that counts. I was so happy to have you ask me to marry you, that all I could concentrate on was my love for you."

"Mmmm," I sighed contently, as my fingers brushed her soft stomach.

It wasn't long before my fingers moved further south, and our short conversation was effectively ended.


	12. Chapter 12

Bella had made me the happiest man alive.

I couldn't believe that she had agreed to be my wife. Her enthusiasm to my proposal showed me just how much she loved me in return, a feat I had feared would never be possible, and I would forever believe that I loved her more than she could ever love me. I knew that now to be a ridiculous concept, and that Bella loved me just as much in return.

After our excursions at the Seattle hotel, we drove back to Forks, holding hands and sneaking glances at each other the whole way. I had gotten around to giving Bella her ring, and while she gushed enthusiasm about it, I knew it wasn't the cut or color or carat of the diamond; it was the meaning behind it, and we were both thrilled at the prospect of forever.

Upon entering Forks, we detoured directly to Charlie's house. Bella wanted to check on him anyway, as he was not up to joining us in Seattle. His good friend, Billy Black, had agreed to check in on him in our short absence, but I knew Bella would not feel comforted until she saw for himself how he was doing.

Besides, we had to share the news of our engagement with him.

Perhaps I had gone about things untraditionally, but Bella and I were older. We had both turned thirty in the past few months. It's not like she was a 22 year old girl who had been living with her father and I had arrived into town to sweep her off her feet. I knew I had Charlie's blessing the moment I asked her to move in with me, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that things are getting serious if you are living together.

I was confident that Charlie would be happy with our engagement, as well as everyone else.

Maybe that confidence was a bit premature.

As we pulled up to Charlie's house, I noticed a shiny red Volkswagon Rabbit in the driveway next to Charlie's truck. I didn't recognize the car. Bella, on the other hand, let out a low groan.

"Is someone here, love?"

"Yeah, you might say that," she said, cryptically and a bit bitterly.

I frowned, not pleased by her reaction. All at once we were letting ourselves into the front door and Bella was calling out to her father.

We found him and his guests in the living room, watching a football game. Bella seemed uncomfortable, and out of place all of a sudden. I looked at her and could almost visibly see her shrinking into herself, her shoulders hunching and her hands clasped together tightly.

Where did my beautiful, confident Bella of a few moments ago disappear to?

I looked at Charlie's guests. Two russet-colored men, one appearing to be about our age, another to be about Charlie's, stared back at me.

Charlie broke the silence.

"Hi kids! How was the event? Hope your trip was nice. I gave a few copies of the novel to Billy and Jacob here, Bells, I hope you don't mind. What can I say, I just gotta show my kid off! So proud of you, I am! Bella, you remember Jacob, right? Billy, Jacob, this is Bella's boyfriend Edward. They're living together now on the outside of town."

Throughout Charlie's speech, I continued to watch the two men, skeptic of their intentions, since Bella had been. When Charlie mentioned that we were living together, Jacob's face, which had been glued to Bella's, visibly fell. Billy's eyes, on the other hand, darted to his son. Testing his reaction, I guess.

Bella recovered quickly.

"Hi dad. Hi Billy, Jake. Yeah the event was great. I wish you could have come, we had a really nice time."

Bella gave quick hugs to all three of the men. I decided to step forward at that point and offer my hand. No need to give the impression that I was rude just because I was wary.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you."

Billy took my hand first and shook it earnestly, while Jacob grabbed mine in a death grip and offered a glare to match.

"Cullen, as in _Doctor_ Cullen?" Jacob spat out.

"That's right. I work in the pediatrics center at the hospital," I answered, warily. Why was this man I'd met less than a minute ago so hostile?

"Hmmph." Was all Jacob could reply. He turned his attention to the television, suddenly looking like a pouting four year old.

What the hell had just happened?

Bella shifted on her feet, then started to remove her coat. Charlie had the fireplace going, and the room was quite warm. I helped her remove her coat, something that came naturally to me.

I didn't miss the fact that as soon as I touched her, Jacob's eyes shot up to me and watched my every move.

"Listen dad, how are you feeling? How was the weekend?" Bella asked. I knew she would want the details of his current state of health before revealing our news. It's just who she was.

Charlie regaled her, reluctantly, with his weekend and how he felt, while I settled into the armchair across the room. Bella made her way over to the chair too and sat on the arm of it, leaning into me. I caught Jacob's eyes across the room, and he was once again watching us, his eyes narrowing as he watched how we interacted with each other.

Suddenly, Bella cleared her throat, and began talking.

"So, we have some news for you. Dad, Edward and I are engaged! Isn't that exciting?"

Charlie was off of the couch so quickly, I was nearly blinded. He threw his arms around Bella and started saying how happy he was for the both of us. I was even more shocked when he pulled me up and embraced me in a firm but manly hug.

"I couldn't have picked a better man to marry my little girl, Edward. I'm very happy for you both!"

"Thank you, sir. I just couldn't wait any longer to ask her to be my wife."

I sat back down in the chair and Bella was grinning from ear to ear at me. I patted my lap and she settled on it, right where she belonged. Jacob was still on the couch, his face in a state of shock. His eyes were unfocused, and his mouth hung open slightly. Billy looked at his feet.

"So now, have you thought about some dates or locations? I'm sure you'll want to wait a few months, right? It's so cold out right now. And I have a little money set aside, I'd like to help out. My only daughter getting married, you know, this is a big deal!" Charlie exclaimed.

I couldn't help but smile at his acceptance of our engagement. It made me feel great how happy he was about it.

"Oh, dad, we just made it official the night before last. We, um, will have to talk about the arrangements and all and decide what we'll do."

"Well, you be sure to let your old man know. I know a lot of men aren't into the wedding thing, but I really want to help. Let me do that, Bells."

A few tears sprang to her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away with her thumbs.

"Thanks, dad. We appreciate that."

"Thank you, Charlie," I agreed.

Billy snapped out of his funk and got up to give Bella a quick hug. I was surprised when he held out his hand to me and offered a quick 'congratulations' to me as well.

Jacob stood up suddenly and announced he needed to get home. Goodbyes were exchanged quickly and then he and Billy were gone.

"Huh. That was weird. Everything was fine before, but Jake was acting really weird towards the end of their visit," Charlie mused.

"Don't worry about him, dad. I'm sure he's fine," Bella assured him.

Bella and I left shortly after as well, Charlie claiming that he was getting tired. We had plans to stop by Alice and Jasper's house the next night to share our news with them.

Once we were back in the car, Bella relaxed a bit, and I couldn't help asking what was wrong. She began to fill me in on her and Jacob's "history".

"Jake and I were good friends growing up – all the way through school. When we were sophomores, he told me he liked me. But I didn't feel the same way, and I politely told him that. I thought that was all under the bridge. We still kept in touch after I went away to college, and it was during my last year there that he told me that he was in love with me. I still didn't feel the same way about him, and told him I just thought of him as a friend and always would. He told me – and I quote – that he would find a way to make me his, someday. I told him to quit dreaming and find a girl who cared about him in return.

"So needless to say, we haven't spoken much since that conversation, and then today we show up at Charlie's with them there and sharing the news of our engagement. Whatever little fantasies he has in his head of us being together have probably just been crushed, and good thing too. He can't keep thinking that he'll find a way to be with me someday when I don't even feel the same way back.

"But don't worry, Edward. All in all, he's harmless. I just hate that he hasn't let go of those feelings."

I mulled over what Bella told me, and decided there wasn't much I could do about it. She has stated her case to him time and time again. It wasn't her fault he didn't get the message. I would just have to keep an eye on him when he was around her.

After telling me the situation, Bella and I both seemed to relax. She relaxed being away from Jacob, and I relaxed knowing the whole story. I decided to change the subject.

"So, love. Have you given any thought to what type of a wedding you'd like?" I asked. I smiled once more at the thought of her becoming my wife. I could care less about the wedding – she could show up in ratty sweats for all I cared – I just wanted her to be mine, and mine alone – forever.

Bella smiled too. "Well, _love_" she said with a smirk. "I'd really love to have a small, intimate gathering of people. We don't really know that many, anyway. I think having our close friends and family there will be plenty. And I'd love it if we could find one of those places that you can have the ceremony and reception together. I hate when you're at a wedding and there's like an hour gap between the two and the locations are kind of far apart. Might as well make it easy on everyone by having it all in one place."

I smiled at her ideas, and completely agreed with them. I also had a couple of ideas of places in mind.

"Sounds great, love. Maybe we could start scouting out some locations this weekend. Then, unless you have your heart set on a specific date, we could see what dates they have available and go from there. I don't think we need a long engagement, Bella. We're thirty years old. We already live together. Not to mention, we're madly in love." I said with a huge grin.

"I agree 100 percent, Edward. And I'm interested to see these places you have in mind."

We did go location scouting that Saturday. The first stop on my list was a quaint outdoor location with rolling green hills in the background. It had an enormous white gazebo where the ceremonies were performed, and the option of an outdoor or indoor reception. Separating the ceremony and reception areas was a massive stone fountain, and I knew that was a prime spot for picture taking.

Bella didn't say anything as we entered, but looked around intently. I watched her for her reaction, but she gave nothing away.

An elderly woman came out of a small building and said hello. She asked if we were looking for a wedding location and we said yes. She made a huge show of picking up Bella's left hand and admiring her ring. Bella flushed profusely before turning to me and grabbing my hand.

"Would you like to come inside and read about our wedding packages? I don't have any appointments for a few hours," the woman, who introduced herself as Glenda, said.

"Yes, please," Bella said, and we followed Glenda back into the small building.

Turns out it was an office, full of chairs with elegant covers, different colored napkins and centerpieces, and album after album of sample wedding photos, buffet choices, and flower arrangements. I suddenly wondered if I'd gotten myself in over my head, and maybe this was more than I was up for. Maybe I should leave Bella to the deciding.

But one glance at her, and I knew that she was just as much out of her element as I was.

I would stick with her for it. Just like I would stick with her for everything life could bring our way.

Glenda explained to us that the location offered wedding packages. A couple simply decides what features they would like included in their wedding, and then she could offer us the package that fits those needs. We could also add or subtract anything we wanted. The packages included bouquets and boutonnieres, reception centerpieces, a DJ, a buffet dinner with two types of meat, six types of salads, fresh bread and butter, unlimited coffee, tea, and water, a soda fountain, a hosted cocktail hour with drinks and appetizers, a photographer, and a wedding cake. We could customize anything we wanted and it would truly be like we picked out everything, save for the fact that we had a one-stop-shop for all of the vendors.

As Glenda told us everything we needed to know, I began to like this idea more and more. I liked how we could customize anything we wanted, so that our wedding wouldn't be exactly like anyone else's. It would save time and trouble, as well, instead of us shopping around for our own photographer, cake baker, etc.

I had a feeling that the cost of this type of service wouldn't be cheap, however; though money would not be an issue if it meant I was marrying Bella.

Bella and I took turns asking about adding and dropping some of the different features – Bella thought it would be fun to add on an espresso bar, I wanted to know if the photographer had an assistant. Glenda took copious notes and then asked if we'd like to know how much that type of wedding would cost us. We said yes.

She entered some information into her computer and told us that this type of wedding would run $64.00 per person. At our estimated head count of twenty people, we were looking at our entire wedding costing $1,280.00.

Could that be right?

Of course, Bella would still need a dress and I would need a tux and there were probably a few other things that we'd need as well. But less than $1,500 for an entire wedding? I had a pretty good feeling that was unheard of.

Bella looked at me and I looked at her, both of our mouths hanging slightly open. Bella turned back to Glenda and asked what happens if more or less than twenty people came to our wedding. Glenda said we were required to provide them with an accurate head count three days before the wedding, and that our final price would be adjusted then.

Bella turned back to me, and I looked at Glenda.

"We'll take it," I said.

Bella smiled and squeezed my hand.

"Thank you, Edward. I love this place! How did you know about it?"

I told her how I had attended a wedding for a colleague of mine, and thought it was a really nice, quiet place for a wedding. She agreed.

"You did well, Edward. It's exactly what I was envisioning."

We spent a few more minutes talking with Glenda. She sent us home with some information about flower, cake, music, and food choices, and a handwritten list of the site's available dates.

_Bella and I are getting married_… I thought, as I peacefully cuddled up to her that night in bed.

**A.N: Bella is not a cold-hearted biatch in this story, if anyone thought that based on her explanation of her and Jacob's "history". She is not unsympathetic to his feelings, but she doesn't want to be with Jake, and is sick and tired of the fact that he doesn't get that. I am not a Jake hater, I just don't believe he belongs with Bella. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N.: I deeply and sincerely apologize for the long delay in updating. I hope you all aren't too upset with me. I have a ton of stuff going on in my real life, ahem, the one outside of FanFiction. (Believe me, if I could, I'd rather be on here all day). My husband and I are preparing to move out of state due to the poor economy in our area and so we are packing up our house and saying goodbye to friends and family. I hope things will calm down eventually and I can continue the story on a more regular basis once we get settled.**

**This chapter is very short, and I also apologize for that. It seemed a good stopping point, for the story, and I wanted to update and fill in a little gap between our last chapter and the wedding. Next chapter will be the wedding but I liked this idea too much not to do it, and I'm still gathering ideas for the wedding chapter. Thank you all for continuing to read!**

The next couple of months flew by as we decided on the details of our wedding. Thankfully, the process wasn't stressful or hectic at all. We were confident in the wedding site's ability to provide the wedding, and we just tried to have fun picking out everything together. The cake tasting was really fun, as well as the meeting with the photographer, when we made a 'wish list' of all of the photos we'd like taken.

Alice offered to take Bella wedding dress shopping, and I think Bella was silently relieved to have someone to help with that. I also thought it might be a little depressing for her to have gone wedding dress shopping on her own. I had a pretty good feeling that picking out a wedding dress was a big deal.

As for me, I decided to treat myself to a tux. Renting one would have been just as easy, but I figured I'd buy one so that I'd have it in case of a big event. Who knows – maybe Forks would start having elegant balls.

Less than three months after booking the wedding site, we found ourselves in bed the night before our wedding. The site was only twenty minutes away – there was no need for a hotel closer to the site, and we'd already had our 'bachelor' and 'bachelorette' parties the previous weekend. Our friends had even thrown us a little co-ed bridal shower, which ended up being an event of gift giving and a lot of drinking games.

The next morning, Bella would leave me, and go to have her hair put up in a beautiful hairdo, while I had breakfast and coffee with my friends and father before heading to the wedding site. The lucky thing for us guys is that we still take twenty minutes to get ready, even on our wedding day. All in all, I was very pleased at how everything had come together, and was thoroughly looking forward to our wedding day.

"Edward?" Bella asked as she rolled over in bed.

"Yes, love?" I whispered in her ear.

"Do you think anything will be different after we're married?"

"I certainly hope so. Some things definitely need to change around here!" I told her in a firm voice.

Bella froze in my arms, and in the dark, I could see her turning to face me.

"What-what do you mean, Edward?" she asked in a meek voice, that had me questioning if I should keep up my charade.

"I mean," I continued firmly. "That as soon as we're married, I will just have to love you more. Won't that be a welcome improvement! Don't you think so!?" I grabbed her tightly in my arms and began tickling her. She knew by this point that I was joking.

A moment later, I said softly: "There's another thing that I wouldn't mind to have changed."

"What's that?" she asked.

I propped myself up on my elbow, and looked down at her. In the dark, I could barely make out her features, but her outline was clear. Even though I couldn't see all of her, she was still beautiful. I would never take that for granted.

"I wouldn't mind seeing your belly a little rounder with our child in it."

There was a pause between us as my words hung in the air. Bella spoke as softly as I had.

"A baby?" she whispered.

"A baby." I answered.

There was a pause from her, and I knew what she was thinking of.

"We don't know if I can, Edward." She said slowly.

"You don't have to remind me. But we can try. We can see."

Even in the dark, I could tell she was biting the lower lip of hers.

"We'd better get started." she said finally, and kissed me firmly.


	14. Chapter 14

Have you ever had anyone tell you how quickly your wedding day goes by? That you should stop to really enjoy the moments, the main highlights of the day? Those people that told you that weren't lying.

Our wedding was one of the best days of my life, looking back. But it did go by quickly, and I'm glad to have captured many memories of that day and freeze-framed them into my mind.

Our wedding went off without a hitch, and we couldn't have been happier with the site, wedding package, or the staff. Bella had said she and the girls were pampered all morning, in the private room where they got ready, eating croissants and drinking mimosas and coffee. We guys arrived early to the site for the photographer to take some candid pictures.

Shortly before noon, Glenda came and found me and asked if we were ready to begin. I sent mom back to the girl's room, and she confirmed they were ready. Our guests took their seats and my best men and I assumed our positions next to the wedding officiant. Shortly thereafter, the soft music began, and I could see three very lovely women standing in the back.

Alice and Rosalie stood in front of Bella, blocking my view and seeming to shield her. I became somewhat emotional at that moment, knowing that Bella was surrounded by these women, and looked at it as a symbolic gesture that they were supporting her. Bella didn't have many close friends and almost no family – all she had left was Charlie, Renee, and Phil. But together, our friends were welcoming her, treating her as their own, and really – loving her. Giving her the support she needed for her new life.

Alice walked up the aisle first, giddy with excitement. Rosalie came second, just as excited as Alice, but appearing more composed, with an almost sensual air about her. Finally, I could barely make out Bella in the back, but I could see her form. I smiled as Glenda helped Bella fluff out her dress in the back, and Charlie took her arm. The wedding march began playing, and my bride walked down the aisle.

My eyes were only for Bella, and I couldn't take them off of her as she gracefully walked up the aisle to me. Charlie patted my shoulder, and put out his hand to shake mine. I shook his and whispered 'thank you' softly. He smiled and nodded, then took his seat in the front row.

I spun and reached my hands out to find Bella's. We grasped each other tightly and as I stared into her eyes, I knew that I had found the woman I was meant to be with.

She was softly crying, and at that moment, I realized that I was too.

The officiant cleared his throat, and with that we slightly turned towards him, but still focused on each other. I remembered to breathe, and I said all of the right things when it was time to, but for the most part, I was focused on her.

When we were pronounced husband and wife, I leaned into her slowly, and placed one hand on each side of her face, and kissed her, with all of the love that I felt.

We smiled, and Bella turned towards our guests, pumped her bouquet in the air, and yelled "YEAH!!! I'M MARRIED!!"

We made our way back into the banquet room, where it had been elegantly decorated. There were ivory linens on the tables and chairs, fine china and stemware on the table, and a huge buffet set up for our reception. We began with a cocktail hour and the most delicious hors d'oeuvres imaginable, then moved into the banquet room and took our seats.

There were champagne toasts, all of the traditional dances, and more fun that I had imagined. Everyone let loose on the dance floor, and our guests kept telling us what a wonderful time they had.

Our wedding cake had several flavors in the different layers, such as chocolate, strawberry, and lemon, and there wasn't any left at the end of the afternoon.

When the sun began to set, our guests started to leave, one by one, until they were gone. Charlie was getting a ride home from Alice and Jasper, and Bella had already changed out of her wedding gown so that Alice could keep it safe.

We had nothing further we 'had' to do – all of the wedding clean up was taken care of by the site, and we didn't need to go home for anything. We were all packed and ready to leave tomorrow morning for our honeymoon in Maui.

So, we looked around one last time, at the men and women cleaning up after our small but wonderful wedding, and captured a few more moments into our mind. Then, Bella took my hand, and we walked outside, to our car, and sped to the hotel.


	15. Chapter 15

Bella and I had an amazing time in Maui. We snorkeled among sea turtles, took a sailboat ride to Molokini crater, and sipped Mai Tais from our condo balcony. I nearly contacted our travel agent to extend our stay another week, but Bella said that we had had a wonderful time and those were the memories that would matter. "Besides, we are still going home to paradise, just a more down to earth version that is not as tropical, right?" She said as she playfully smacked my behind.

We resumed life as a married couple when we got home and fell back into our routines. I tried hard not to let each week fly by without us doing something enjoyable together. What a young couple did not need was the monotony of life leading to boredom. During the warmer months we hiked, camped and swam at the lake during cookout parties we would host for friends and family. We took several trips to visit Renee and Phil, living in Florida at the time. Carlisle and Esme graciously leant us use of their apartment in Paris, and I surprised Bella with the trip for our one year anniversary.

Bella's novel shot to the New York Times bestseller list the month after its release, and hovered there for twenty three weeks before being named in lists of 'what to read this year' and '10 new authors to watch for great things from'. Her publisher wanted another story, and Bella resubmitted her past written works for consideration. But they wanted something new, something fresh. Bella struggled with what direction to go. She began interviewing for a new literary agent. Her publisher then asked her to create a trilogy based on her first novel.

"How do you suppose I'm to create a trilogy when the main character of my first novel died at the end, Dave?" I heard her arguing on the phone as I walked in the house after work one evening.

Bella struggled creatively with how to proceed. Nothing felt right.

"You know hon, its perfectly okay to take some time off... Give your brain a break from the stress. If you have to work too hard at deciding another novel to write, by the time you actually get to writing it you won't want to," I pointed out to her. I had woken up early and reached for her, but she wasn't in bed any longer. I found her sipping coffee on our back porch, a misty fog rolling out of our land and receding into the forest. If this was going to affect her sleep now, I officially had a problem with the pressure she was under.

After interviewing several literary agents, Bella eventually signed an agreement with Bree Tanner, a spritely small girl, fresh out of Stanford with a new way of looking at things. She was one of those people that you couldn't quite tell how old she was by looking at her, and her unconventional ideas were what Bella believed would be the ticket to helping her out of the rut. "My studies have shown that this isn't uncommon, Bella. You publish a novel, your publisher makes a lot of money, then they order more novels from you. They are looking at things from a money standpoint and you are looking at things from a creative standpoint. They want you to be a well oiled novel machine, so that you can make more money for them, but things just don't work out that way. You can't just write a novel you don't have feeling behind and hope to convince others it's good. Is that something you are struggling with?"

That right there is what convinced Bella to sign with Bree. She felt she as no one in her corner to promote the creative juices that go into writing. "Sometimes a brilliant book idea isn't going to come to me just because publisher orders it," she reasoned, as she tapped her fingers on the massive mohogony desk and we waited for her attorney to join us for the meeting. Bella thought if she was going to make some changes to her business agreements, she might as well have them all reviewed by legal counsel.

Meanwhile, Bree began publisher shopping, and a month later Bella signed with Little Brown Books. They were a smaller, yet more modern publishing house willing to take a look at Bella's already written novels. They were willing to take a gamble with an initial printing of 500 units and one of her completed manuscripts was entered into the editing phase shortly after that.

Charlie's sickness began plaguing him less and less before finally settling into a remission. The combination of drug therapies and lifestyle changes could account for his success. He still had plenty of doctors appointments and prescription costs but was nearing retirement age and was thinking of taking an early pension. "Might as well see if the fish will bite while I still have the strength to reel them in Bells," he said while kissing Bella's head.

Bella had been off of birth control since our wedding. While we knew that she may be unable to conceive a child, we decided on our honeymoon that we would give it a year. A year to see if anything happened naturally for us, and then after that we would seek medical advice.

Since her book contracts had been settled and Charlie was doing well, Bella and I made an appointment with a fertility specialist in Seattle 18 months after we had gotten married. She has already been to Dr. Snow at the hospital who confirmed she was ovulating regularly, tests revealed no other health concerns that would contribute to the infertility and since she wasn't having luck conceiving, the natural next step was the help of a specialist.

Despite my medical training, I felt fidgety sitting in the small office surrounded by models of plastic babies squished inside their plastic mothers, her organs pushed aside to accommodate growing baby. Charts on the walls indicated a woman's menstrual cycle, and the development of babies week by week. A plastic holder housed dozens of pamphlets discussing different reproductive issues.

Bella's leg jiggled up and down as she bounced her foot. I reached over and grabbed her hand, reassuring her. "We are in this together babe," I whispered and she smiled.

Dr. Yorkie walked in and greeted us both. He shook our hands and sat behind his desk. We went over Bella's test results sent from Dr. Snow's office, discussed both of our health histories and answered additional questions about how long we had been trying.

"Okay folks, I think I have enough information for us to make a good game plan here. I appreciate you putting up with all of my questions, but basically different cases are going to require a different plan of attack. The fact is, since Bella is ovulating regularly, and that's half the battle right there for many couples who cannot conceive, what we need to work on is joining egg and sperm. My recommendation is for us to try intrauterine insemination."

Dr. Yorkie explained the process and procedure. Bella would have to track her ovulation, and when ovulating we would go to his office for the procedure. Once they had my sperm sample it would be 'washed' to leave only the best and strongest sperm, which would then be inserted into Bella via a procedure no more invasive than a Pap smear.

"As you can see, minimal risks, although there is always a chance of infection. We recommend trying the procedure three to six times before throwing in the towel. If it is unsuccessful, we can look into further options, such as in vitro. But I think this would be an excellent place to start."

We asked some more questions, and left armed with several of his pamphlets, a list of recommended vitamins, ovulation kits, and sperm-boosting lubricant brands.


End file.
